Welcome to A Certain Alternate Universe













Board Rating



Sister Sites


Affiliates
Affiliates (-18)

Topsites


Latest topics
» A Certain Missing Esper (Arc 4 Main Story)
by Kisaragi Anko Sun Apr 14, 2024 12:13 pm

» Amaryllis - A Semi-Realistic Lion RPG
by Guest Mon Jan 22, 2024 3:50 am

» Between the lines (Arc 4 Side Story)
by Masaki Chiyo Tue Oct 31, 2023 6:17 pm

» [SS] A Certain Valuable Remnant
by Kumokawa Maria Sun Aug 27, 2023 8:08 pm

» It's a pleasure meeting you.
by Kumokawa Maria Wed Mar 29, 2023 5:57 am

» Myriad Paths | Immortal Cultivation RP
by Guest Sun Mar 19, 2023 10:37 pm

» ✨???? moon power! a sailor moon roleplay
by Guest Wed Nov 16, 2022 3:15 pm

» [SNPC/Magician] Nabuki Kenozuya
by Leivinia Birdway Sun Nov 06, 2022 4:33 pm

» Ichinose Mitsuki ( esper )
by Shokuhou Misaki Thu Nov 03, 2022 2:59 pm

» [Esper] Kakira Denji
by Shokuhou Misaki Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:33 pm


[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

4 posters

Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  Kurohasu Naomi Sat Oct 19, 2013 4:14 am

[[   Kurohasu Naomi   ]]

Level ?: Flash Frost
Spoiler:
"What's the rush?"



[   General Description   ]

::Full Name:: Kurohasu Naomi
::Other Alias:: Nao
::Age:: 17
::Gender:: Female
::Occupation:: Student
::School:: A Certain High School
::Faction:: n/a


::Appearance::
Naomi stands at 168cm, about 5’6”, in her bare feet. Her form is slender, and her curves are modest: her figure imparts a sense of grace and refinement rather than physical strength. Her movements are fluid, like the wind, and she specifically chooses to dress in clothing that does not restrict her movement. Her casual attire tends to be dark gray, with a form fitting top and either loose pants or a knee-length slit skirt. A tattoo of a lotus adorns her left upper arm, and a silver charm bracelet encircles her right wrist. As she is a student, most of the time she can be found wearing the standard student uniform of A Certain High School.
::Height:: 168 cm
::Weight:: 52 kg
::Distinguishing Features::

  • Tattoo of a lotus in black ink on her left upper arm.
  • Silver charm bracelet with 6 polished mirror-like charms around her right wrist. Not actually made of silver, but shiny enough to pass for it a glance.


::Personality::

::Likes:: Peace and quiet, playing the flute, her older sister
::Dislikes:: Crowds, loud noises, people who do not appreciate music

::Strengths:: Calm and collected, Naomi tends to be unfazed by anything: she can watch a man be torn to pieces in front of her without batting an eyelash. With her tendency to avoid conflict, she gets along well with everybody, making very few enemies (and very few friends). She has an extremely strong sense of responsibility; when Naomi has agreed to something, others can rest assured that she will get it done.
::Weaknesses:: Although she is cordial to everybody, Naomi has a habit of emotionally distancing herself from others, something that others subconsciously react to. As such, she makes many acquaintances but very few friends, leading a rather solitary existence in Academy City. In part due to her upbringing, Naomi can be Machiavellian about fulfilling obligations, to the extent of disregarding the law.




[   Personal History   ]

Spoiler:




[   Esper Parameters   ]


Spoiler:



[   Other Abilities   ]
Spoiler:



[   M i s c . I n f o   ]

::Character Themes::
::Player Name:: Kurohasu Naomi
::Rating:: M for Mature
::Face Claim::
::Other Characters:: None
::Misc. Details:: None


Last edited by Kurohasu Naomi on Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:09 am; edited 10 times in total

Kurohasu Naomi

Posts : 17
Join date : 2013-10-19

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty test post

Post  Kurohasu Naomi Sat Oct 19, 2013 4:20 am

[OOC: this post is a reflection of Yamato Trystan's test post, told from my character's perspective.]


Naomi was not in a good mood. She had been quite excited upon receiving a summons from her sister for the first time in a while, and was looking forward to speaking with Kaleissa in person. Since Naomi had been excommunicated, she had been virtually imprisoned in Academy City, where she could not cause trouble for her family; chances to return to her hometown were rare. But instead of the reunion she had imagined, all she got was a kiss on the cheek before Kaleissa was whisked away to attend to some other duties while Naomi was tossed into an escort mission for some disciple of an old acquaintance of her parents.

Altogether, their group was five: Naomi, the newcomer, and three clearly seasoned veterans of the Nine Dragons. It was obvious that her role here wasn't protection; not only were there battle scarred killers with them, the young man himself seemed plenty capable of defending himself. Compared to an unmotivated dropout like herself, it was not at all unlikely that he would do a better job protecting her instead of the other way around. Considering the fact that the nameless man wasn't even a member of the organization, giving him such an escort was probably increasing the likelihood of an attack than if they had let him make his way on his own.

That only left one  possibility: that she was only here to be a tour guide, called in due to family connections in order to give the new student an introduction to Academy City on his way in. It wasn't that she had anything against him personally, but for her parents to go so far as to make the request through Kaleissa, knowing that she would never refuse her older sister, Naomi figured it must be their way of getting back at her a bit for all the mischief she had caused over the years. The girl let out yet another quiet sigh; it was already too late to decline, so even if she were displeased about it, she would still see things to their end.

Luckily, much of the conversation was dominated by the leader of the group, Ling Xiong Jie, who had immediately taken to the newcomer and was all too happy to regale him with tales of his martial encounters. Every so often, a question would be directed at her,  to which Naomi either replied in as few words as possible or declined to comment altogether. The world of the Nine Dragons was one she was no longer part of; although she did have a few stories of her own, the girl was not at all inclined to share them with strangers, much less delve into the details of her personal circumstances. As for questions regarding Academy City, as the only one of the group who lived in the City, she felt obligated to at least respond, however tersely. The young man would see for himself soon enough; Naomi had no desire to color his future experiences with her own cynical judgments. At any rate, the others apparently found something about her cold responses amusing.

Without warning, their group came to a stop; the lighthearted atmosphere of a moment before evaporated in an instant. Even without asking, it was obvious that some unexpected guests had come to visit, and from the way the others were signaling, their numbers were not at all small. Which of the three veterans they had come for was anybody's guess, but that minor detail was not really important anymore; even at this distance, Naomi could feel the bloodlust emanating from around them, to be matched by a similar aura emitted by her own companions as they fell into a circle formation. There was no doubt that blood would be spilled soon.

The girl closed her eyes briefly, taking a moment to shift gears mentally. Her breathing slowed significantly until it was nearly inaudible, her stance and posture shifting subtly in ways only an experienced fighter would notice. When her eyes next opened, there was not a hint of emotion visible in them; looking at her was like looking at a doll, lifelessly staring back. Her movements were not especially fast, but they were fluid and graceful, carefully controlled and timed to slip beneath a person's notice. Within seconds, her presence had been completely erased: no fear, no excitement, no bloodlust, just an empty space. Disappearing in plain sight; it was a skill she had spent years perfecting. Unless somebody were looking for her specifically, most people might see her but their minds would not register her as anything more than scenery. Their assailants would look upon their group of five, but the majority of them would only see four.

At Ling's signal they moved as one, the veterans dashing into the trees to unleash hell on their attackers. Naomi followed them like a shadow, taking advantage of her allies' sudden movement to conceal her own. The flash of gunfire gave way to shouts of fury and cries of pain, punctuated by the sledgehammer imitation of rapid-fire assault rifles. From her vantage point in upper branches of the trees, Naomi frowned to herself. Neither her personality nor her esper ability were well suited for direct confrontation. Given a choice, the girl would much prefer to remain hidden, waiting patiently until her enemies tired and gave up. However, with gunfire spraying out through the trees, there was no longer any merit to playing a waiting game; the chance of a stray bullet finding her was even higher than the chance of somebody managing to locate and target her. In which case, it might actually be a better idea to join the fray down below.

Common sense told her that Ling and the others had no need for her interference. At least one of them was a silent killer with techniques similar to her own; Naomi doubted that she'd even be able to find him, much less get an opportunity to help. It was the newcomer that had her worried; for all that he looked physically capable, he had the air of one who had never seen true combat. As the saying went, the first battle was the one true rite of initiation that separated the men from the boys. And since she was one of his escort, no matter how reluctant, it was her duty to deliver him to Academy City safely.

A loud kiai sounded nearby, marking the young man's location not too far away. The girl shook her head; did he think this was a friendly sparring match or something? She doubted that he had enough blood on his hands for a shout like that to be intimidating, especially when most of the opponents wouldn't be able to see it anyway. Chances are, he had just alerted the surviving assailants of his continued "living" status, and they were probably mad about getting decimated by the other three. Right on cue, the sound of hurried footsteps came from below, heading towards the shout. Naomi cursed softly, and descended to follow.

"Onee-chan better spoil me after this."

Muttering half-heartedly, the girl dropped down from the branches without warning. Her target was peering around the trunk of a large tree, a large sledge hammer type weapon held tentatively in front of the body. She silently applauded him for his choice; unlike bladed weapons, a blunt weapon wouldn't get stuck in the trees as easily. Not that it would help him much. Her first strike was a heel kick to the back of the knee, forcing the man to kneel. As she anticipated, he tried to turn around and swing at her, but with such an unwieldy weapon, from such an awkward position, his movements were far too slow to hit. Her second blow caught him in the throat as he spun, and she didn't wait for him to sputter before a hammer fist to the side of the head knocked him into the tree. He didn't rise again.

A soft gasp and the rustle of cloth alerted her to another assailant, emerging from the underbrush just in time to see her comrade go down. An assault rifle was clutched in her hands; from the way the tip drooped towards the ground, it appeared she was still not used to the weight of the weapon. Not waiting for an invitation, Naomi jumped up, rotating her body until she was horizontal with the ground. Bracing both feet against the trunk of the tree, she propelled herself forward, crossing the five meters between them in a heartbeat. Her left hand reached out, making contact with the woman's chest and forcing her backwards even as the barrel of the gun rose up to meet her. Carried by Naomi's momentum, the two of them collapsed back into the brush, one on top of the other.

"W-W-Why? Why can't I fire?!"

With just inches separating them, the muzzle of the gun was pushed up against Naomi's stomach; the woman's finger was on the trigger, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't press down. Naomi leaned in even closer, the tips of their noses almost brushing against each other, a dark smile stretching slowly across her face. Her eyes held the other woman's gaze, drinking in the mixture of shock, desperation, and fear. The body beneath her grew even colder as Naomi pushed her ability further. The woman's face had already gone pale, her eyelids struggling to stay open as her body shut down to protect itself. Chilled to the core of her body, it was as if she were caught naked in the middle of a blizzard. In an instant Naomi had stripped her of feeling in her fingers, rendering her unable to fire; within a moment the woman was unconscious.

Naomi took a deep breath, slowly separating herself from her victim. Using her esper ability so abruptly always left her feeling sluggish, as her body could not completely escape the effects either. Fortunately, the fight seemed pretty much concluded; the sounds of gunfire were mostly gone. A quick glance revealed the that young man had survived, his breathing labored as he stood above a fallen assailant. She saw, no, felt him lower his guard as the tension left his limbs, and immediately she swore.

"You IDIOT!"

Ignoring the reluctance of her limbs to move, Naomi tackled him from the side, bringing him to the ground just as a bullet flew through the space where his head had been a split second earlier. A strangled cry sounded out a moment later, marking the demise of their attacker at the hands of Ling and the two others. Giving the startled man a look of disapproval, Naomi said nothing more as she stood and left him to reflect on his own mistake. A brief exchange with the others verified that the ambush had been successfully thwarted, with no attackers remaining in condition to fight, and with that confirmation she finally allowed herself to relax.

The remainder of the journey passed in silence.


Last edited by Kurohasu Naomi on Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:43 pm; edited 2 times in total

Kurohasu Naomi

Posts : 17
Join date : 2013-10-19

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  Accelerator Sun Oct 20, 2013 1:34 pm

Hi. Welcome to the forum.

I'm afraid that Reishi characters are sort of off limits for the time being. I had originally intended for them to remain as NPCs until the faction gets officially introduced later on in the RP. Basically as it stands Reishi characters would be a little out of place in the main plot, as they've only appeared (very briefly) so far.

As far as Trystan's character goes, I believe our previous admin worked something out with regards to his backstory so that he'd only find out about the Reishi along with the rest of the characters at a later date.
Accelerator
Accelerator
Level 5 Vector Change

Posts : 221
Join date : 2012-06-24
Location : Academy City

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  Kurohasu Naomi Sun Oct 20, 2013 6:04 pm

Regarding the Reishi aspect, I intended for her to have no Reishi abilities whatsoever; it's only that her family practices a martial art that incorporates Reishi, but being a less than enthusiastic student, she never got that far. It's stated that way in the Other Abilities section.

Sorry if it's unclear.

Kurohasu Naomi

Posts : 17
Join date : 2013-10-19

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  Aleister Crowley Tue Oct 22, 2013 4:58 pm

It really is less about the abilities themselves and more about the connection with an aspect of the RP that's not really been introduced yet. The third faction and things relating to it are really elements that I feel should be kept out of sight for now. For it to work she would have to be totally unaware of the Nine Dragons, the existence of Reishi and the supernatural abilities of her Spirit Art. In which case it really seems much simpler not to include them as an aspect of her backstory.
Aleister Crowley
Aleister Crowley
General Superintendant of Academy City

Posts : 271
Join date : 2012-06-11
Location : The Windowless Building

https://academycity.forumotion.co.uk

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  Kurohasu Naomi Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:46 pm

edit: names of factions removed, mention of her nonexistent spirit powers removed

Kurohasu Naomi

Posts : 17
Join date : 2013-10-19

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  Accelerator Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:41 pm

So now that all 'secret martial arts society' elements have been removed as per our discussion on the chatbox (though I still notice some mentions of an 'organisation' which will need to be removed), I can move onto the rest of the profile.

Firstly her history is too long. We prefer summaries rather than detailed prose or blow by blow accounts for simplicity's sake.

Her history is fine, as there is precedence for 'ninja clans' in the To Aru universe (even if they've only been mentioned in passing).

Her ability is still unclear. What does it do to people? Are they injured? Do they retain their consciousness? Do things appear slower/faster to them? Do they notice at all? It seems like it could be potentially overpowered without a certain level of restraint put on it. Taking molecules down to close to absolute zero would practically be a Level 5 ability and could be easily abused.

Also, how would being able to control entropy grant her superior kinetic vision to the point of almost tracking bullets? That seems pretty extreme.

Accelerator
Accelerator
Level 5 Vector Change

Posts : 221
Join date : 2012-06-24
Location : Academy City

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  Kurohasu Naomi Tue Oct 22, 2013 9:38 pm

Took out the word organization.

If you prefer, here's a non-scientific explanation of her abilities: she's like a thermostat.
1. You can set it so that it keeps the temperature about the same and adjusts to minor changes in either direction.
2. You can turn it down and it makes things colder.

If used on people, they get the heat drained out of them starting from wherever she's touching or has a pathway to touch (such as through an object). You can think of it as a quick dose of hypothermia or frostbite. Now for your questions:
Are they injured? They just got flash frozen. If you don't treat it, yes they will be injured. If you treat it, they'll be fine.
Do they retain their consciousness? Depends. When your core body temperature drops too low, you will eventually pass out. If she only affects your limbs, you'll still be awake until the cold gets to the rest of you. If she goes for your head, you'll pass out pretty fast.
Do things appear slower/faster to them? No. This has nothing to do with time perception. Unless they're predisposed to hallucinate when cold.
Do they notice at all? Yes. People usually notice if parts of the body are cold.

There are a lot of restraints written in to the ability.
1. It's not instant. Yes, it's fast, but it's not going to turn a park into a frozen wasteland in a flash. It starts from her own body and moves outward; the farther it goes, the longer it takes, and the weaker the effects.
2. It affects herself. If she's making things around her cold, she gets cold too. While she can protect herself somewhat using her own ability, heat transfer rules still apply.
3. It doesn't last forever. The longer she wants to maintain it, and the bigger the change/area, the more effort it takes on her part. When she stops using her ability, things start returning to normal at their normal speed.
In general, this is not really intended to be a combat ability. It's more of a utility type. If you're asking if it can kill people, yes it can; it was originally intended to be Level 4, which, according to canon, is about right for 'capable of killing individuals but not massive destruction'.

Regarding kinetic vision: her ability involves visualizing the vibration of molecules too fast and too small to actually see, and then affecting them. When you get used to dealing with very fast things, normal fast things don't seem that fast anymore. To clarify, she does not see the bullet with her eyes, just like she can't see a molecule vibrating; it's largely intuitive estimation of the trajectory

Kurohasu Naomi

Posts : 17
Join date : 2013-10-19

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  [Old] Index Sat Oct 26, 2013 6:48 am

Hiya. So I had a look at the history and found some questions I thought I'd ask.

Ninja Family?
What kind of family is she from? I know this was probably changed a few times at Guy's request but I'm honestly not sure what to make of it. Labeling it as a simple Martial Art background seems odd as there seems to be lots of hints to point that they're leaning more towards a hidden ninja clan or practitioners of a dying tradition/art.

Older = Better?
What really determined them to decide from birth that the older sibling will inherit the family head position? If they were both skilled equally and they're practically twins how is it easier to just write it off as "Oldest gets the clan head position" and end it with that? I could be old fashioned but I thought most Martial Arts oriented families decided things with their fists upon coming of age. It just feels like I'm reading a manga chapter with 5 pages missing that explains the reasoning and logic behind this decision that turned Naomi into the inferior one she is today as far as Martial Art progress goes.

Sneaky 12 year old
I'm not sure how a seemingly less talented individual with no motivation or love for martial arts can master the art of concealment to the degree that not even a true master class like her parents and grand parents would be unable to detect her. Aren't they supposedly great masters in martial arts? This part also feels out of place because up to this point the history tried to solidify Naomi's character as the inferior talentless girl among the twins, yet this feat seems like something we can expect from a unrivaled genius prodigy in the making. By all means if I'm correct in thinking this family is something like a modern day equivalent of a skilled assassin martial arts family, with the presence concealment alone I would immediately assume Naomi would be chosen over her sister.
Reason being? Between the two I would assume Naomi would be the stronger one. I don't know if you know this but in martial arts people frequently try to hide their true intentions and they usually go about it by pulling feints. Some are simply more naturally gifted at hiding their intentions by having less of a presence. If I were to label Naomi she fits into the latter category making her far more dangerous than her sister.

Beloved Sister?
I don't understand where this love is coming from. Naomi's very existence is overshadowed by her sister in every possible way that Naomi hardly ever takes on the spotlight for anyone in her family... If anything I'd think she hates her sister simply for breathing the same air as her. She was a cheap replica/replacement for her sister, harsh but this is what it feels like from a third perspective.

Gemstones...
Basically Gemstones are Espers who manifest an Ability without the aid of the Academy City's Power Curriculum. They do exist but their numbers are comparatively small and it's very rare to see them. As such I'd be grateful if you can reconsider and edit this part of her history so that she develops one in Academy City instead.

She's quite strong...
Even without relying on her abilities, I think her kit already makes her a very formidable individual. Course I could be basing this on a certain masked man who managed to beat his esperlike foes with nothing but wires and acrobatics but.... yeah I don't see the point of adding an ESP to her already powerful kit. I think she'd be one of the rarer characters that are heavily underestimated because she's a Lv0 but ends up beating up characters that are 4 levels higher than her using martial arts alone.

I have more to add but it's 2am and I'm due for another morning shift tomorrow morning so I'll continue this when I get home.
[Old] Index
[Old] Index
Dedicatus545

Posts : 210
Join date : 2013-07-14
Location : St. George's Cathedral, London, England

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  Kurohasu Naomi Sat Oct 26, 2013 9:38 am

Thank you for actually reading through it all. I really do appreciate it. To answer your questions thus far:

Ninja Family
She was not supposed to be in a ninja family; initially her family was going to be affiliated with the Nine Dragons (since the character was started a year ago as a pair with Trystan) but Guy had me get rid of that. It was then made into an organization, but that got cut out too. So now all that's left is just a fairly traditional martial arts family that runs their own dojo teaching their own style.

Older = Better
You are perfectly correct in saying that the succession should be merit based. Since they were twins, they were both possible contenders for the position, and happened to be equally talented. However, knowing that she had a sister who could take the position didn't create a rivalry between them; instead, Naomi decided she wasn't really interested in martial arts and left it all to her sister so she could do other things. The reason her sister is in line to inherit is because in terms of ability, she is better now. While the older one was doing extra training, Naomi was sneaking out to see the town. In short, the knowledge that there was a back up plan made her get complacent.

Sneaky
This was based on the theory that if you want something badly enough, you'll find a way to get it. She's not interested in martial arts, but she'll do whatever it takes to sneak out of the house, even if it means practicing more. In terms of talent, it's established that she's not inferior, she just lacks the motivation to apply herself most of the time. Only focusing on the aspects that benefit her (concealment) and disregarding all the rest can certainly be considered a waste of talent, but that's why her sister is better suited to be next in line.

The main reason she can evade the notice of her parents (at least what I had intended) is because her parents don't actually care what she's up to as long as she's not sneaking out again. They no longer expect anything out of her, so as long as she stays in the house where she can't cause trouble, they're satisfied. It's kind of like how you look into your refrigerator looking for the milk and don't notice the bottle of water on the lower shelf. You might see it, but you don't take notice because you don't really need to. That's also why her sister can find her every time; Kaleissa is more conscious of Naomi, so she notices her presence when others do not.

Beloved Sister
I do see where you're coming from on this point. The way I envisioned it, Naomi has no reason to resent her sister simply because she had no desire to take the spotlight in the first place. To her, being forced to succeed the dojo is more of a chore than a blessing, and she's quite thankful that her sister is willing to take that role for her. You might expect the animosity to come from her sister instead, but the Kaleissa I had in mind is more of a 'good girl' type who actually enjoys martial arts. Since there's no conflict of interest, the two of them get along perfectly fine.

Gemstones
This can probably be adjusted according to your direction. I'm not too familiar with the details of the Toaru universe, so I wanted to find some way to justify the nature of her ability. I'll change it and let you know when it's been edited. Edited accordingly.

Strong?
In actuality, Naomi was designed to be an esper, not a martial artist. She's not supposed to be some sort of master who strikes from the shadows and takes out an opponent in a single strike. She's more like that girl who took karate as a kid but stopped once she got to high school to protect her face, and picked up the flute instead. Yes, she's sneaky like a master, but that ability was born from the fact that she wanted to get out of the house. To put her mastery level in perspective, she's probably somebody who could make the high school team and go to tournaments but would end up ranking somewhere in the middle. In my opinion, there are more than enough martial artists/swordmasters/gun masters roaming around already. I did consider making her family a bakery instead, but it was harder to justify getting kicked out to Academy City.

On that note, her esper ability isn't supposed to be for combat either. It can be used against people, sure, but I didn't really have a fight-crazed assassin girl stalking people from the shadows in mind when I decided to join. I have Trystan for that.

Kurohasu Naomi

Posts : 17
Join date : 2013-10-19

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  [Old] Index Sun Oct 27, 2013 7:24 pm

Thanks for answering my questions regarding the character.

Now that I have some free time to sit down and carefully analyze it further I came to find more questions that might need to be answered.

After discussing with you I realize that this is just an ordinary family with some martial arts background but why does it sound like it's some kind of a dark organized crime syndicate? Your history tells me that she's been carrying out successful missions... what are these missions? Are you certain she's not some kind of a secret village ninja?

Being Twins is Bad Bad Bad
I'm also left wondering how Naomi's very existence was a huge threat to Kalessia's succession. I thought this was a small family matter between one family, why would Naomi's existence bring shame and ultimately downfall of Kalessia's ascension? Negative influences? Why would that matter when her parents already decided the older one will be the one taking over the Dojo? There shouldn't be any other candidates than Naomi and her sister who are eligible to take on the Dojo and it's been mentioned several times in the history that Naomi has been eliminated from taking over the Dojo, so I don't quite understand where this absolute need to keep Naomi in house arrest stems from. In the first place can a 12 year old bring such a great shame to threaten someone else's succession? Are Martial Artists in Black Lotus filled with fickle adults who uses a 12 year old as an excuse to prevent another 12 year old from inheriting the Dojo? Which also gives rise to another question, why would they care to begin with? What the younger twin does is her problem alone, why would it lead back to the older one? If there are reasons for them to try and prevent the girl from inheriting the dojo why would they try desperately to do so? What is their motive behind this mysterious act of involving themselves with another family's affairs? I think it's strange to begin with that someone other than family members would want to mess with family problems unless it was domestic abuse which would then be disrupted by the Police.

Rather than worrying about the younger twin I think they should have paid more attention in training their older one instead which seems to be the case going by what you have so far.

Excommunicated
I don't really understand the whole need for them to excommunicate her. Current reasoning as it stands is that she was frequently leaving home to go out to play when she's not supposed to, yet it was also addressed that her parents really don't care what she does with her life since all they care about is the older sibling. These two elements when you put them together doesn't make any sense. On one side they couldn't care less if their daughter got eaten by a wild lion that sprang out from the zoo and went on a killing rampage in it's wake, yet on the other side they're happily care enough to remove her from the family register for not being home.... so yeah I'm seeing some strange contradictions here. If this excommunication is all about her being in the way of Kalessia's succession well... I still can't fathom how being born a twin would have such a high consequence for the chosen one. Also going by the history Naomi doesn't seem like the type that causes much problems for her surroundings so I think the idea behind Naomi's existence becoming potential threat to Kalessia is completely misfounded.

Flute Madness
Does members of her household honestly believe a 12 year old can instantly become fluent with a musical instrument? Because if that's how they really think I don't know how they would have any expectations from their disciples when they instantly believe 12 year olds can become masters over night. Their parents seem wealthy enough to run a dojo and send their less beloved daughter to Academy City, why couldn't they let her have one of the rooms for her to practice the flute? Unless... the dojo is very poor and everyone sleeps in the same room, in which case how does her parents financially support her to live in Academy City? Mind you most kids that go to school in Academy City come from families that are more or less above average financially. Touma's family isn't rich but they definitely aren't poor either.

Trystan is my...(User Input Pending)?
What exactly is her involvement or relation to Trystan? There's no mention of him in your profile at all.
[Old] Index
[Old] Index
Dedicatus545

Posts : 210
Join date : 2013-07-14
Location : St. George's Cathedral, London, England

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  Kurohasu Naomi Sun Oct 27, 2013 8:20 pm

Ah you're right about that part. Like I mentioned earlier, the family was originally affiliated with the Nine Dragons, hence the assignment of some missions to the upcoming generation as part of the training. Now that this connection is no longer the case, I'll remove it; thanks for catching that. [Removal complete]

Twins
I had envisioned a traditional martial arts dojo setting, with students from outside enrolling in the school as well. Since succession is merit based like you said, even outsiders could theoretically be candidates, but of course the family would prefer to keep the headmaster position within the clan. Luckily, the sisters are talented enough to be at the top in terms of ability, so with the family bias, they're the only candidates. So there are other students present, not just the two of them.

As to the matter of house arrest, this has more to do with the family reputation as seen by outsiders. Not only are Kaleissa and Naomi twins, they're identical twins. Anything Naomi does could be mistaken for something Kaleissa does, and considering how traditional this family is supposed to be, they're not likely to just laugh it off and say "oh no, that was the younger one, she's so mischievous". Instead, it's much more preferable to keep her in the house where she can't risk damaging the family reputation, simply as an individual member of the family. Why not kill her? As parents, they probably don't want to kill her off, mostly out of sentiment, except as a last resort. At most, since Naomi has yet to do anything really excessive, they just try to keep her in the house. Why not beat her or chain her? Again, mainly due to bad rep; they don't want the village to talk, since the rest of the world outside the family is still relatively modern in terms of mindset. From what I know of the traditional martial arts schools, students (and younger martial siblings, to use the Chinese term) obey the orders of the headmaster even for menial tasks like gate keeping, so they'd be the one to keep watch most of the time.

Excommunication
The idea is that if you can't control it, you get rid of it. This goes back to the family reputation again, except with more emphasis on the fact that they have the same face. If the headmaster candidate does something bad, it's not as big of a deal as if the headmaster does something bad. Especially when Naomi is using her innate talent to develop her abilities to evade house arrest, she's getting to the point where her family simply does not have the resources to spare to keep her under watch, since they do need to focus on preparing the older one to take over. There doesn't even need to be the certainty that Naomi will do something bad; after all, she has yet to go on a rampage. It's the fact that the risk is there, and out of their control, that worries them. If Naomi had stayed in the house quietly, they wouldn't have a problem. If the sisters weren't identical twins, they would still need to keep her under control for reputation reasons, but may not have needed to go as far as to excommunicate her. Unfortunately, Naomi fails on both accounts. Chalk it up to the last vestiges of parental love that instead of killing her off, they send her to Academy City, a place which is almost a military state and has the latest technology and greatest ability to keep errant students under control.

Flute Madness
I would say that the family is relatively well off, at least enough to adhere to very traditional practices and make a living off of teaching. At the very least, they're an old and established family with a reputation to maintain. That said, they're people too, and people have limits. During the day, Naomi adheres to the training regimen, albeit reluctantly, so her practice time comes late at night, when people would really like to get a proper rest. Sound carries, and Naomi's abysmally bad at the flute. After two years of sleepless nights, they'd be understandably pissed. Naomi has no problem sacrificing sleep to practice either. Martial arts is low priority to her, so she doesn't feel the need to put her all into it. She simply shows up and goes through the motions.

Trystan
OOC, he's a friend of mine. IC, he's supposed to be my character development catalyst. They have no history together (except the rp sample) but things have to start somewhere, ne?

Kurohasu Naomi

Posts : 17
Join date : 2013-10-19

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  [Old] Index Sun Nov 03, 2013 1:42 am

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Approval3_zps87fd0b6b

Congrats! Lv1 Flash Frost.

Just remember that your power works similarly like Uiharu's and that is via direct physical touch. In saying so I'm going to have to ask that the range is reduced to point blank range since you can't have a physical touch 4~12 meters away. ^^
[Old] Index
[Old] Index
Dedicatus545

Posts : 210
Join date : 2013-07-14
Location : St. George's Cathedral, London, England

Back to top Go down

[Esper] Kurohasu Naomi Empty Re: [Esper] Kurohasu Naomi

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum