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[SNPC/Magician] Tomoe

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[SNPC/Magician] Tomoe

Post  Vita Vesta Caesar on Mon May 16, 2016 3:09 am

Tomoe

Adeptus402 “When death’s doors open, I stride forward.”



"When you die, what kind of expression will you make?"

FULL NAME: Tomoe
AGE: 17
GENDER: Female
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: A schoolgirl with dark black hair, brown eyes and of an average stature. Continuing to wear the black sailor uniform of her former high school, her wavy hair stops at her shoulders and she leaves her bangs uncut obscuring a proper view of her face. Her feet are bare, and she wears anklets that, upon closer observation, are Möbius strips with goldfish patterns inscribed. She is normally quite unassuming, but once she begins she becomes absolutely terrifying. Without doubt, a monster wearing the skin of a lamb.

INFORMATION: In the beginning, Tomoe lived a perfectly normal life. She loved her family, enjoyed school, and looked forward to growing up in the same way all children do. But at the tender age of twelve, all that changed. One day while she was out playing with her friends, her parents were murdered by a robber who had broken into the house. When she returned she was greeted not by the usual welcome, but the scene of their bodies collapsed lifelessly in the kitchen. She simply stared in shock, with no idea how she should react. But the robber, who had yet to leave the house, had heard her open the door and went to investigate the noise. When he found her she almost joined her parents, and it was only due an extraordinarily lucky stab with a knife grabbed from the counter that she managed to avoid joining her family on the floor. Up to this point, there hadn’t been anything particularly odd about her reactions to these traumatic events. But then, there, she crossed the boundary from human to murderer, and as she stared at the three bodies lying on the floor questions came to her mind that were clearly beyond the norm.

"What is it like to die?" "What is death?" She felt no fear over the dangerous situation she had just experienced, and her heart remained unmoved by any kind of urge to mourn the loss of her family. What she felt instead was a pure wave of child-like curiosity, an intense desire to answer the questions that had now that been asked. This may have been the definitive moment where she broke. By saying that it was something that 'happened to her', one could make the argument that Tomoe was not to fault for what she would become. She, too, could perhaps be called a victim of tragedy. However, the truth was that the composition of the girl called Tomoe was simply one such that, when exposed to this kind of stimulus, would become this manner of a thing. In the end, when any of an uncountable number of reactions and transformations could have occurred, Tomoe became a monster.

In the aftermath of her family’s death, custody was granted to her father’s brother, a priest at a Buddhist temple of a distant prefecture. Quietly obsessing over the questions she had asked on the day of the robbery, Tomoe had become silent and withdrawn. Her uncle, mistaking it for depression and grief over her sudden loss, made the decision to give her something she could put effort into which would hopefully allow her to distract herself from her sorrows. That something was magic. Recognizing it as a potential path to answers, she took to it like a fish to water. For the next four years Tomoe devoted herself to her studies, and made astounding leaps of progress. Whether it was due a latent talent or simply the result of her incredible efforts, there was no denying that her growth was astonishing. The priests and her uncle, however, were just happy that she seemed to have finally vacated the shell she had created after her family’s deaths, completely unaware of the actual contents of her heart. If things had continued like that, then even broken as she was, a tragedy may not have occurred. The status quo would have been maintained and she would have stagnated. But whether it was due to freak chance or simple inevitability, one last change occurred.

It was nothing so significant that it would have compelled her to shout eureka. Rather, it was something so incredibly simple that she had never considered applying to her search, absorbed in studies as she was. Until then she had simply thought pondered and meditated upon the answer like the philosophers of old. But if she really wanted an answer to the question, then there was an exceedingly simply method that everyone born in a civilized country was taught at a young age. It was a teaching from the everyday life that she had blended seamlessly into, but cared nothing for. The scientific method. Trial and error. Experimentation. Practical testing. From the day she had killed the robber, she knew she had no feelings of hesitation towards bringing death. Her true beginning was the moment she realized there was no need to restrain herself to just thinking. She immediately began to plan its implementation, and given the questions she sought to answer, that implementation was certain to cruel, unusual, and terrifying. There was no need for complication. She would observe deaths of all sorts and record any and all data she could. That alone was a morbid thought, but she had no intention of stopping there. Her inquisitiveness was not so weak that she would be satisfied with merely being an observer. Rather, she had every intention of creating the deaths she desired with her own hands.

Later, on her sixteenth birthday. All the priests had gathered in one place to celebrate. They ate cake, the priests prepared many presents, and it was a wonderfully festive affair. But when the time came to open her gifts, instead of moving to tear the wrapping paper, she simply smiled. What happened then was too atrocious for words. She smiled, and she crushed, slashed, burned, bound, cut, bludgeoned, slaughtered, murdered, eviscerated, disemboweled, dissectedーshe viciously, mercilessly, astonishingly swiftly and agonizingly slowly killed every single last one of the priests who had treated her like family without a single exception and in every way she could imagine. Her strength and the utter surprise of the assault left no opportunity to resist. It was only too late that her uncle realized the true source of her reticence all those years ago, the true meaning of her magic name, the face he had failed to see. Despite the brutality which would shock even the most depraved of killers, despite the meticulousness which would have impressed even the most devoted of researchers, her conduct was no different from a child tearing apart the body of an insect. She held not even a trace of malice, acting on nothing more than curiosity. Since that day when she was twelve, Tomoe had not taken a single step forward or a single step back; her soul had remained utterly unchanged.

When the scene was discovered, there was a great clamor. The entire population of the temple had been massacred, the news spread through the town in a heartbeat. Known for their kindness and generosity, the priests shouldn't have had even a single enemy who would have reason to do such a thing. The police declared that they wouldn't rest until the perpetrator of the tragedy had been brought to justice, while the townsfolk lived in fear that it would be repeated. However, in the end not even a single suspect would be found. The cause was simple: what they found at the scene was no pile of bodies but nothing more than masses of scorched flesh that no longer bore the slightest resemblance to the human form. All identifying markers of the victims and even the scenes of their murder had been burned clean. With the victims' identities impossible to discern, all that could be done was compile a list of the missing.

A mass funeral would later be held. The deaths of the priests and the young girl whom they had taken in were mourned publicly and the townsfolk began to finally find closure. Despite the police's best efforts not even a single clue was unearthed, and one day the case would be declared inconclusive. Despite the fears of the townsfolk, no repetition of the tragedy ever occurred. That murder would never happen again, and eventually be forgotten. In the end, the town moved on.

But that course of events was only natural. As Adeptus402, 'an expert' or 'one who obtains', there was no need to continue pursuing that which she had already graspedー

ABILITIES:
FACE CLAIM: Original work by artist Aoikamaou


Last edited by Vita Vesta Caesar on Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:11 am; edited 5 times in total
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Re: [SNPC/Magician] Tomoe

Post  Leivinia Birdway on Mon Oct 16, 2017 12:32 pm

OK. Apologies for the delay. I know it’s only been 518 days, but still.


I. The General Stuff — Eyecandy

You know, appearance descriptions are said to be short, however they should not lack crucial features like eye-colour, hair length and clothing. Add these, please.


II. The Information — Rigidly Repeating the Process

First of all, I’m gonna say that I quite enjoyed the history. However, I do feel like it is just a history, not a further implication of a personality. Therefore, please give us at least some more insight into Tomoe’s mind.

Secondarily I must point out the fact that there’s no explanation on the origins of the Magic Name. A thing that’s of course crucial to a Magician’s history. Insert that at the right place, please.

Thirdly, as nitpicky as it may appear, how did she kill everyone at her birthday party? Bare handedly, with weapons or with spells?

Fourthly, building on the previous point, what exactly was the aftermath of said mass-killing. I mean, she basically killed an entire temple and their family’s worth of people and from the get-to-go this sounds like she simply got away with it? Further explanation, please.


III. The Abilities — Splitting Evenly

My initial concern with the spells is just a formatting thing: Can you make the split between the two obvious, like by giving them names and such? I’d be grateful for that.

Spell #1: Having read it thoroughly, I must ask if there are any further requirements, like base conditions etc., she needs to fulfil for its activation? As stated in past evaluations I am a believer in the fact that spells always need some sort of external triggers, be it simple symbolism or rituals of any other kind. Expansion is highly welcomed.

Spell #2: With this spell the activation is an even greater issue, than with the first one. Please give a more detailed implication on the way the effect is triggered and maybe a hint at how to cancel it out. Taking into account Stiyl’s Innocentius spell you referenced in the description, this might become even more mandatory given how much of a hassle that one is to cast.
Furthermore, I’d like to see more of an explanation to its effects and limits. So far I only see mention of there being fiery hell guards who have different heat-levels. However I do see nothing about their numbers, true power or range. Expand, will you?
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Re: [SNPC/Magician] Tomoe

Post  Leivinia Birdway on Mon Oct 30, 2017 1:13 pm

It has not yet been 518 days again, but 14. So how's the progress going?
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Re: [SNPC/Magician] Tomoe

Post  Vita Vesta Caesar on Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:36 am

518 days is 518 days more than I'd like, but it's also ∞-518 days less than it could have been. ...That's the optimistic way of looking at it, at least~ Now then, while I'd have loved to make it to 600 that's totally not what I was aiming for there it's time to get this show back on the road.

re:I
Info added, hope that satisfies you. Trying to keep the details like impressions and stuff pretty sparse; it's all about the kind of image I'm going for. Also, I've purged the surname. I've never really liked any of the ones I've come up with for her, but I realized recently that she doesn't really need one. Especially considering the loss of her original family, what happened to her adopted family, and the circumstances added in the edit.

re:II
Good to hear you liked it, here's hoping I didn't ruin it with the edits~ I did try to add more exposition regarding Tomoe's psyche, but if I failed to elaborate as much as you'd have liked on her general personality of impressions, sorry. Trying to keep those lightーon the surface, at first glance, her image should just be that of a plainly average, demure, nothing-to-notice-about-her girl. But the balance may be a bit hard.

Magic name detail also added on, as well detail on the aftermath and process of her first killing. Not entirely sure if I made to clear enough, so to clarify just in case: she used magic, manual means, any and every means she could.

re:III


Black and white burn so bright
In the midst of such dull colors



Now that I've supplied your poem, have at me! (and have mercy)
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Re: [SNPC/Magician] Tomoe

Post  Leivinia Birdway on Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:56 pm

Revival of I, part II.


II. The History — Again.

I am not entirely convinced with the way you inserted the Magic Name’s meaning or origins into the history. While I can see the connection, it still feels a bit too vague, compared to what I we are used to, so please try again. Possibly by putting its meaning and creation into the proper chronological order for the sake of accentuating the tie.


III. The Abilities — It was a trap all along!

When I asked you how exactly she managed to kill the entirety of a temple, I indeed prepared some trap you didn’t manage to avoid. Basically, you have been saying directly and indirectly that she relied more on her very own hands than her spells when performing the mass killing. This however would require at least some skill, especially given the method she applied for the killings, not to forget the fact that it was a mass killing of which most of the victims were likely Magicians of some kind.
Therefore believing that this in fact requires some kind of overly well developed spell, I am kindly asking you to make an addition to the skill-set, which leaves the domain of the Magical.

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Re: [SNPC/Magician] Tomoe

Post  Leivinia Birdway on Fri Nov 17, 2017 5:59 pm

Another 14 days have passed. Status?
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Re: [SNPC/Magician] Tomoe

Post  Leivinia Birdway on Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:00 pm

As it has been another seven days, I feel the need to remind you of one month character completion rule. As of now, seven days are left.
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Re: [SNPC/Magician] Tomoe

Post  Leivinia Birdway on Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:38 pm

Since there hasn't been much of a reaction from your end in this thread, I'll have to break the very sad news that Tomoe is hereby REJECTED.

May she rest in peace.
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Re: [SNPC/Magician] Tomoe

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