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[Other] Tougane Masaru

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[Other] Tougane Masaru Empty [Other] Tougane Masaru

Post  Tougane Masaru Sat Jul 04, 2015 4:11 pm

Tougane Masaru

Problem Eliminator

[Other] Tougane Masaru BAou9p

"My work is mostly about helping certain people with their problems, they call me a 'problem solver' but a  'problem eliminator' is more likely"





FULL NAME: Tougane Masaru.
OTHER ALIAS: [REDACTED]
CURRENT AGE: [REDACTED]
GENDER: Male
OCCUPATION: [REDACTED]
SCHOOL:  -
FACTION: [REDACTED]



APPEARANCE: Tougane prefers his hair to be short, though there are times he leave it long. He has black hair and brown eyes. He wears a variety of clothes, depends on situation. Though, he usually wears business-wear. He believes clothes actually convey what a wearer wants to convey, so he takes a good in care in choosing what to wear. His to-go colors (for suits, mostly) are dark navy, navy, dark blue, dark charcoal, charcoal, mid grey, light grey and dark brown. His favorite patterns are chalkstripe, pinstripe, glen plaid, herringbone, windowpane, nailhead, birdseye and hopsack. With a suit, he pairs a black knit-tie, navy knit-tie or navy grenadine tie and a pair of monk straps slip-ons/boots or oxfords, preferably with brogues. He often wears knitwear when it is cold enough. He likes to add some flair to his outfits but he does not want to make it stands out too much. He often opts a shoulder holster for right hand for his sidearm.
HEIGHT: 180 cm
WEIGHT:  82 kg.
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: He has some scars throughout his torsos, due to gunshot wounds, stab wounds and shrapnel.





PLAYER'S NAME: Tougane Masaru
CHATANGO NAME: TouganeShinya
RATING: M
FACE CLAIM: Nobuchika Ginoza from Psycho-Pass


Last edited by Tougane Masaru on Sun May 08, 2016 11:35 am; edited 44 times in total (Reason for editing : Changing the title and quote)
Tougane Masaru
Tougane Masaru
A Certain Problem Eliminator

Posts : 78
Join date : 2015-07-03

https://academycity.forumotion.co.uk/t578-other-tougane-masaru

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Post  Tougane Masaru Sat Jul 04, 2015 8:43 pm

Test:

I'm aware there are a few errors, I was a bit tired while trying to finish it. I'll soon fix it as soon as I'm ready.

*Update : I made many terrible mistakes, both grammar and narration, I fixed the mistakes that I have noticed.


Last edited by Tougane Masaru on Sun Jul 05, 2015 4:25 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Fixing previous mistakes)
Tougane Masaru
Tougane Masaru
A Certain Problem Eliminator

Posts : 78
Join date : 2015-07-03

https://academycity.forumotion.co.uk/t578-other-tougane-masaru

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Post  Mugino Shizuri Sun Jul 05, 2015 8:35 pm

I’m extraordinarily happy to see both a normal human being and a Dark Side agent in one character; definitely refreshing!

1. Specialisation
I feel like even among soldiers there are differences in ability, like something he is exceptionally good at and a field he is rather lacking in. Therefore I would ask you to name his specialisation and what he is lacking at. However if he isn’t specialised into any direction, you can leave him as an allrounder~

2. Martial Arts
Martial Arts are quite a broad field if you ask me. There are various kinds created by various cultures with many different fighting styles emerging from it, which is making imagining his skill rather difficult. So please elaborate a little further on his very own style and its twists.

3. Equipment
Not everyone on this site has a good grasp or any grasp at all when it gets to military weaponry. Taking this into account I would ask you to always add at least a short explanation whenever you have him use weapons or any other military means so that people can actually understand how that stuff works or what it does…or something in that direction.
A good example for something that’d require such explanation would be the Liqud-Type Body Armour mentioned in the Other Abilities section.
Mugino Shizuri
Mugino Shizuri
Level 5 Meltdowner

Posts : 611
Join date : 2014-05-09

https://academycity.forumotion.co.uk/t333-esper-mugino-shizuri

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Post  Tougane Masaru Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:25 pm

Mugino Shizuri wrote:I’m extraordinarily happy to see both a normal human being and a Dark Side agent in one character; definitely refreshing!

1. Specialisation
I feel like even among soldiers there are differences in ability, like something he is exceptionally good at and a field he is rather lacking in. Therefore I would ask you to name his specialisation and what he is lacking at. However if he isn’t specialised into any direction, you can leave him as an allrounder~

- I was aware that adding to many skills would over-powers the character, but I could not strip the basic attributes of an infantry off. So I stated that he is "well" at them, but not "top-notch" and I also added another 2 flaws to his weakness which are comprehension in AIM-based knowledge and hacking.

2. Martial Arts
Martial Arts are quite a broad field if you ask me. There are various kinds created by various cultures with many different fighting styles emerging from it, which is making imagining his skill rather difficult. So please elaborate a little further on his very own style and its twists.

- I didn't think it was necessary to explain until you pointed it out. Now I toned it down and specified it.

3. Equipment
Not everyone on this site has a good grasp or any grasp at all when it gets to military weaponry. Taking this into account I would ask you to always add at least a short explanation whenever you have him use weapons or any other military means so that people can actually understand how that stuff works or what it does…or something in that direction.
A good example for something that’d require such explanation would be the Liqud-Type Body Armour mentioned in the Other Abilities section.

- I was hesitant about explaining it, it could be a drag if it was explained or it could be too confusing if it was not. From now on I will try to keep it brief and clear. I had added something that would be convenient to him in later on, but it seemed to self-indulged so I toned it down.

The last thing you mentioned was what I failed to explain, it was not over-powered as it sounded, merely more convenient to be worn without being seen due to the thickness and mobility. It sounded contemporary and appropriate for the setting. It was based on a real life prototype. Anyway, it was changed to something more "ordinary".


It is now edited to suit your suggestion.
Tougane Masaru
Tougane Masaru
A Certain Problem Eliminator

Posts : 78
Join date : 2015-07-03

https://academycity.forumotion.co.uk/t578-other-tougane-masaru

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Post  Mugino Shizuri Mon Jul 06, 2015 3:12 pm

3. Equipment
You got me slightly wrong there. You could have left the Liquid-Type Body Armour in; it just would have needed some explanation on what it actually is etc.

4. Weaknesses
And you didn’t really have to add anything new, I still feel like he’s balanced out enough.
Well actually there is something I would like you to add, though: A short text on his injury, explaining the actual nature of the injury, as that is something that’s only being mentioned in the history section while it actually is a weakness of the character, isn’t it?
Mugino Shizuri
Mugino Shizuri
Level 5 Meltdowner

Posts : 611
Join date : 2014-05-09

https://academycity.forumotion.co.uk/t333-esper-mugino-shizuri

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Post  Tougane Masaru Mon Jul 06, 2015 5:56 pm

Edited again in Weakness and History.
Tougane Masaru
Tougane Masaru
A Certain Problem Eliminator

Posts : 78
Join date : 2015-07-03

https://academycity.forumotion.co.uk/t578-other-tougane-masaru

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Post  Mugino Shizuri Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:04 am

[Other] Tougane Masaru Axdlrt6p
Mugino Shizuri
Mugino Shizuri
Level 5 Meltdowner

Posts : 611
Join date : 2014-05-09

https://academycity.forumotion.co.uk/t333-esper-mugino-shizuri

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