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[Esper] Hayama Kenji

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[Esper] Hayama Kenji

Post  Hayama Kenji on Mon Sep 26, 2016 1:09 am

Kenji

######## Level 2 Impulse Drive ########



"Don’t regret relying on me."



FULL NAME: Hayama Kenji
OTHER ALIAS: N/A
CURRENT AGE: 17
GENDER: Male
OCCUPATION: Student
SCHOOL: A Certain Highschool
FACTION: N/A



APPEARANCE: Tanned skin, dark brown eyes, and long, unkempt hair are the hallmark features of Kenji. He will keep the academy jacket unbuttoned with his shirt untucked. Also wears a belt that is too big for his pants, as it often hangs low below his untucked shirt. Wears black combat boots on his feet. Despite being untify, it has a rather neat approach look to it, because he does take the time to make sure it actually comes off as lack luster and unkempt.

Outside of his uniform, he prefers jeans and a plain colored t-shirt, with the same combat boots. Hairstyle remains the same.

HEIGHT: Five feet, eleven inches.
WEIGHT: 155 pounds.
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Facial hair. Generally a parted mustache with some form of a cut-off goatee.



PERSONALITY:
Day-Dreamer  
He’d rather live his life in his imaginary world in his head. Reading manga, doodling in his notebook, playing a video game are what he'd rather spend his time doing. Real life and its simple challenges of being a human being bore him. This was integral during his time in the Power Curriculum Program, leading to the promise of power. He probably would've never been able to stick through it without an active imagination. However, he still finds school and institutionalization more of a pain than a challenge, and his attitude and actions lead him to being labeled …
Rebellious
Kenji will go to school. If the subject interests him, he’ll even attend the entire class period. It's really the stifling feeling of having to follow the School rules that he hates. Being forced or pressured into being or acting a certain way disgusts him. To him, conforming to rules is just getting bullied by a system created by people who don't even know he exists. This is especially apparent when it comes to certain norms that crowds tend to follow, such as respecting your elders, or not asking the type of questions that would throw a professor into a hissy fit, even wearing your uniform the proper way. Even his beard is a fight against the establishment, opting to grow it out as opposed to business clean. Despite these attributes to his personality, Kenji has a mind that is …
Intuitive
Kenji will claim that he just knows things, but he's good at recalling small details. He'll also very annoyingly point out details that someone more polite won't mention out loud. Preferring truth and detesting the idea of diplomacy, he at times goes out of his way to point out the flaw in someone's point. He always doesn't hold back a nature that is …
Inquisitive
Never take anything at face value. Everyone has an agenda, even if it's something as simple as convincing as "This apple is red." He’ll question everything and anything. In another life, he would consider himself a detective, but in reality, he's just obsessed with the truth. When you grow up with a lot of family, the truth is always hard to point out. Being accused of a wrong-doing led to this type of mentality; and it really didn't matter if he was the perpetrator or not. The truth sets everything free, including an action that was simply described as "it was an accident." In essence, Kenji is always out for the truth. It's his only driving force. If there's nothing to figure out, then it's something that he doesn't need to pay any attention to. There's absolutely no reason to ever bother with it again unless it will prove another truth in the future.

LIKES:
Curry – The best food ever. He’ll even eat it without rice. Of course, with additional hot sauce or pepper flakes on top of it. It was always a specialty back home for him. A large family always led to large meals, and curry, as a form of stew, was one of the easier meals to prepare for a family the size he hails from. The ability to mix in a multitude of ingredients, herbs, and spices to create a unique flavor grabbed his attention from youth. At worst, it was a magical concoction created by a witch that was edible and gave you a ton of energy, with the side effects of bad breath and possibly an upset tummy depending on how much extra hot peppers he adds to his own plate. It was a dramatic point in Kenji's life when he learned stores sold packages of curry mixes at different levels of spice.

Mystery – He loves solving problems. He's reserved enough to drop a problem for a while if it's stumping him, but he'll always return after getting a brand new mindset. The less people that have solved it, the better it appeals to him. Presented with a brand new problem, and Kenji lights up in a way that he shows his true self. Mysteries include speculating the next chapter in a series, who a villain's true identity is, a puzzle with logic gates, the way a machine works, or why the teacher is so upset at the fact that Kenji finds the lecture boring. There's also the good mystery of "whodunit", which always gets Kenji's gears moving.

Parkour – A practitioner of said art, he’s been a fan of it because of his love for Rei. He first eyed it in action back at his hometown. In the playground, every day, she would be practicing. While she did so, Kenji would observe quietly, noting down everything he could. He will move about the city in a round about way when he fancies it, but always dedicates proper practice for at least an hour a day. It's also what is speculated to have helped trigger the activation and quick development of his Personal Reality ability.

Fantasy/Sci-Fi – Cartoons, novels, comics, and games, stories about fantasy characters interest Kenji more than current events or history. He would rather read about how Oda Nobunaga fought off a group of Pirates from Mars than any factual stories about his conquest of unification or his ideas on foreign policy. Because of how unreal those worlds at times present themselves, he finds it easier to think about them. Not only are they vastly different than the norm, they present the question of "what if?" Likely, none of those scenarios could ever happen, but there always is that small chance they exist as alternate realities.

DISLIKES:
Regulations – More so than your average student. He finds school as restrictive, holding back students by limiting what they should study. Kenji will study, having an understanding that an education is needed. His disdain is more of a fight against an establishment. What's more annoying is that his grades could be good, amazing even, if he did things like participate in class instead of staring out the window or the ceiling so he can actually answer the instructor when he's called on, or purposely getting answers wrong on a test because he'll instead fill out an answer with a question digging into the truth of the subject. He’ll also avoid doing extra credit, believing that his own work is more than enough effort needed on his part. Extra credit is seen as something created to let someone who isn’t smart enough feel like they’re better at a subject than they really are.

Bullying – He deplores the act of someone stronger picking on someone weaker, especially when it’s a group. He’ll even get into a fight to resolve the problem if it would stop it. Its not a quality he admires, but he picked it up from his family. Teasing is one thing, but he was taught to respect others, and how something said or done could disturb one more so than it would someone else. He especially hates the hazing that goes on in school, where the seniors would disrespect the rookies or new pledges to a club because the same horrible acts were performed on them when they first entered. It's a dumb cycle of punishment that deserves to be broken.

Lying - The act is nothing more than disrespectful in his eyes. Even lying to protect someone is seen as harsh in Kenji's eyes. Belief in the truth sets all free is a motto of his. He won't even dislike the person who is telling the lie - he has more than enough sense to know that they're doing it for a reason. Lying typically entails hiding the truth, so it's more of his incessant need to find out the truth. But of course, Kenji has lied in the past. Those would be his greatest moments of regret, when he has no other choice but to stifle down the truth himself, for whatever the reason may be.

STRENGTHS:
Agile – Not only in body, but in mind as well, often thinking differently than the norm. It is said an active body helps empower an active mind, and that rings true for Kenji. Being always on the move, his mind experiences new things at a rapid pace, and affects the way he approaches problems. Just like parkour, he will get to any point he wishes to through any obstacle that presents itself before him. Having an active body also keeps him more than just fit, he can maneuver around easily, and reacts quick enough if it comes down to a fight. He'll use momentum to his advantage when it comes to physical obstacles.

Quick Analysis - His ability to process information is only limited by the amount of time it takes him to get a good look at his surroundings. Honed even more by parkour, Kenji gathers the maximum amount of data about a situation presented in front of him to make quick decisions. His limitation at this point is which decision to make, and often times he will spend hours thinking how he could've taken a situation differently with the facts that he had at his disposal at the time.

Strong Constitution / Iron Will – An ability to take things at face value, and the ability to withstand foods that would send a normal person reaching for water or running to the restroom. Truths are often harsh, like the first taste of freshly fried coriander, masala, and turmeric - some of the most used spices in curries that send weaker cooks to tears when the steam first hits their face. He doesn't find many things that make him squeamish. Strong odors, bugs, disgusting sights are all things to take in. Even physical deformities on his body, such as broken bones, don't cause him fear or panic.

WEAKNESSES:
Unkempt – A lot about him is a mess. His appearance, his schoolwork, his room. Nothing is ever filthy, but thrown around in a disarray. There’s no set place for anything he owns. This displays in his classwork by handing in papers that are crumpled, or homework with scrawled notes on the borders that have nothing to do with the assignment. It's not even organized chaos, usually having trouble finding possessions , forgetting where he last left them.

He keeps an amazingly clean bathroom though.

Rude – Abbrasive. Distasteful. Blunt. There's no other way to describe him but pretty rude. He doesn't say things in an attempt to be mean, and he certainly isn't spiteful, but he will get to the point of the matter with no diplomacy. He won't think of the consequences of his actions at the time.

Short-Sighted - Though inquisitive in nature, when given a problem, he will often times provide a quick solution to patch up the problem at the moment. He won't consider future implications of an action, and it often times gets him into trouble. If the best way to stop someone from pummeling another is to break his arm before he has a chance to react to Kenji being involved, he'll do so. If everyone's at the dinner table fighting about who gets the last piece of dessert, he'll shove it in his mouth and walk away while everyone stares at him in disbelief and anger.


HISTORY:  Kenji comes from a household of part-timers. No one in his family could really hold down a job. That includes his mother, father, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Their home wasn't fairly big, but cozy enough that it allowed for several members of a family to live there, though sleeping quarters were very cramped. Before Academy City, he never had a room, or even a bed, of his own, often times sharing with his cousins. As for his direct family, Kenji is the youngest of two children. No one doted on him more than his older sister Rei. She helped raised him with her own love of the outdoors. He idolized her at youth as a child would idolize a superhero. They spent a lot of time together, with Rei bringing him here and there, often times with a plethora of manga and snacks.

Kenji displayed an intelligence that was outside the norm of their family, reading on his own when other kids were still playing with building blocks and in the sandbox. This caused him to be bullied at a very young age, the kids thinking him weird because he didn't want to join in on their fun. It never bothered him, because he agreed that he was weird. When asked about his sharp mind at a young age, Kenji always attributes it to his family, who always were around to teach him something new. Rei was a bit of a tomboy herself, enjoying playing sports and practicing being a traceur. She often talked about how she wanted to travel and be free. She also imprinted onto Kenji how to be a 'man'. She taught him to always stand up for himself, and to always work out, because the ladies loved a built guy.

Rei also wanted Kenji to accomplish more in life than the rest of their family. She knew he was different than the rest of them, and wanted more for him than a life of mediocrity. Before he was done with pre-school, she convinced the family to enroll Kenji into the Power Curriculum Program. Resistive at first, Rei had little trouble convincing Kenji to go with the promise of gaining magical powers like some of the characters they read about. He called her every night, with questions a plenty. She always had answers for his questions, and encouraged him to always ask questions to get to the bottom of everything. They continued throughout the same way, especially when Kenji began to display powers of his own.

Kenji didn't display anything amazing at first. He was barely able to perform some simple tasks at first, and it was very sporadic. It was first thought that he had some form of Telekinesis, displaying, at random times, the ability to perform actions such as bending a spoon. It was barely consistent, and never seemed to trigger when he was sitting still and concentrating, but rather when he was distracted, shaking his foot with a restless leg or tapping his fingers on the table. In the end, he was kept around for his minimum display of a power, and continued on with the normalcy of attending school. He kept his grades up, and it appeared that he would at least survive as a member of society. Kenji had his problems, even young, fitting in with crowds. He often got into fights because he found many activities to be stupid, and would constantly disrespect his upper classmen. He didn't have any real close friendships, but was tolerable around certain people. Rei never scolded him for acting this way, but encouraged him to stay strong. Together, Rei and Kenji began to develop a routine for him to start practicing parkour on his own. At the Power Curriculum Program, the focus began to shift on when he would display powers and why. An increase in his abilities was noted once he started involved keeping active as part of his daily routine.

Everything then changed so quickly and suddenly. Before starting middle school, Kenji learned that Rei was sick. She was constantly in the hospital, unable to move and weak. Everyone said it was nothing to worry about, but it affected Kenji. He didn't want to bother her, so he no longer called her every night, instead opting to writing her letters when he could. He would often describe anything he was learning in school, but eventually he began to lie. He couldn't focus on school anymore, and couldn't bear to bring the truth to Rei or his family. The few times she was able to call him, she never spoke about herself and only inquired about how he was doing, and if he was keeping up with his exercises, and she was always more curious about his development in the Power Curriculum Program. His mind would drift back to days when she would carry him on her shoulders and run through the park, leaping over benches, and holding him up as he would swing across monkey bars. Combined with these thoughts and the active lifestyle he kept through his traceur routine, it's speculated this is what attributed to Kenji's vast change in ability. Having his mind focused on a singular objective was good for him; he also had the incentive to do better for the sake of his sister. He was encouraged by various researchers once he began displaying an interest in development of his powers. His instructors encouraged him as well, allowing him to attend more time with research rather than classroom time.

Kenji's life transitioned into finding ways to improve his ability. He quickly found that his 'telekinesis' was active more so when he was in motion before attempting to do anything. A rapid growth was seen in his power, including a lot of scary moments for him. At first it was attempting to jump off a bench, and him falling straight down while the bench flew to where he was jumping too. These incidents were numerous, but it allowed him to gain a true understanding of his ability. He would be able to build up a force within himself, which he felt as a vibration within. Depending on how much energy he built up, the vibration would be stronger. This vibration always made him feel uneasy - it was like he instinctively knew he had to release it. When he did so, it would cause the object in possession to move at a speed and range not dissimilar to the source of kinetic energy. Quickly this evolved into being able to take an outside source of kinetic energy, as developing on his own was quickly becoming redundant. Once he explained these outside phenomenons to the researchers, they began various other routines to test the limits of his ability

Currently Kenji is attending school with a focus on developing his ability only. He participates in most of the activities, but doesn't care much for the educational curriculum while in school, though this is encouraged by a few staff members. He often ignores the lectures and reads something else, speaking up only when he hears something that sounds incorrect. Mostly he just annoys a lot of people around him, so he's no longer seen as the weird kid. Just annoying.


RANK: N/A.

LEVEL: ########

Dissonance Breaker Acting as a conductor for the transfer, Kenji can absorb kinetic energy and transfer it to another object. This kinetic energy must be generated by himself or taken from another object. This energy is stored within Kenji as a 'vibration', and must be released by physically touching another object. The direction of this force is determined by Kenji on release, directly at the point where he touches the objective.

This transfer of kinetic energy is a direct changing of kinetic to potential energy on the object he is taking it from. Another way to see this as a transfer of momentum of a moving object. Since this is determined by size and velocity, he can drain up to the equivalent of 150km/s per second. (km/s = kg * meters / second). This absorption of energy begins within Kenji's AIM field, therefore begins even before he directly touches an object. As an example, if he were to catch a baseball, before it even hits his hand, it's as if the baseball was already being grabbed beforehand, so that when he does finally grasp onto it, it wouldn't even make a smacking sound. At most he can only target both the drain and release of energy of a singular objective at one time.

This range of effect for a single target object begins at 1 meter. Kenji also needs to visually be able to see this object, as he needs to focus on the object to begin to absorption of energy. There is also a delay of 5 seconds before he actually focus on another object to drain energy from. If he uses himself as he focal point of absorption, any momentum he has built up is immediately lost, and gravity becomes the only acting force on his range of movement. This causes him to drop straight down, and he won't have access to use this energy he has built up himself for another 10 seconds. He may also not drain the force of another object during these 10 seconds. Kenji also can not both drain energy and output it at the same time, though there is only a delay from drain to output. As soon as he's output the entirety of the energy, he is able to build it up again immediately.

His drain output is maxed at 5 seconds, giving him a total possible output power of 750km/s. This stored energy is developed over another 5 seconds (beginning the moment he's absorbing energy), and must also be released within a minute, the max time decreasing as the amount of energy he absorbs increases, down to half a minute. While it's never happened, it's theorized that holding that kinetic energy past the breaking point would literally break Kenji down physically, the energy having to be released somehow.

The best way to think of this ability is to compare it to an average sized car at 1500 kilograms moving at 14 meters / s (about 50 kph). Within Kenji's field, he would be able to slow this car down 45 kph after 5 seconds. An 88kg can throw a cross hook at about 575km/s to give some perspective to amount of force that be unleashed at the maximum amount of energy obtained.

Abilities include increasing the kinetic motion of something thrown, or using the kinetic energy to break apart a structure. The concept behind increasing the kinetic energy of a thrown object relates to a snap force, the kinetic energy shoved into the object as soon as it leaves his touch, traveling along the path he threw it let his touch at an increased momentum. Destroying a structure is the opposite effect and takes build up time. Constantly keeping touch on the object, as long as he constantly receives or creates kinetic energy, the object will be ripped apart at a molecular level, from simply being bombarded with constant kinetic energy that overrides the potential energy threshold of the object. The ability to do this consists of keep completely still for 10 seconds, and releasing that energy into the area that is being touched. Size and material play a large factor here, as he has success with wood, plastic, or even concrete. Metal is harder to affect, because of its malleable nature.

Direct combat has little immediate use of this ability, though it does allow him to soften the blows he takes. It will not allow him to hit harder, but he can 'snap' the kinetic energy into an opponent to send them sprawling at the point of impact. There is lash back with this effect, however, as there is a backdraft when he releases the energy violently from within his body, and has led him to breaking his own bones before.


OTHER ABILITIES:

Parkour
Kenji enjoys the practice of being a traceur. He benefits from this by having a fit and active body, which helps him generate great quantities of kinetic energy, and helps him overcome the fact that draining his own kinetic energy will stop his movements. With his ability to quickly analyze situations, Kenji does very well with scaling walls, leaping structures taller than himself, and reacting quick enough to grab onto a ledge or land on a platform with the correct type of forward momentum to prevent harming himself. He hasn't practiced for long, so a lot of advanced maneuvers still need work on, but his knowledge in parkour allows him access to various routes other than the roads more traveled.


CHARACTER THEME:

Getting Serious (Battle)




PLAYER'S NAME: Kenji
CHATANGO NAME: AnikiByuu
RATING: M for mature (Violent or suggestive content such as 'Ecchi' or 'fanservice' scenes.)
FACE CLAIM: Harima Kenji – School Rumble
OTHER CHARACTERS: None.
MISC. INFORMATION: N/A.


Last edited by Hayama Kenji on Fri Sep 30, 2016 7:46 pm; edited 12 times in total

Hayama Kenji
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Re: [Esper] Hayama Kenji

Post  Hayama Kenji on Mon Sep 26, 2016 2:12 am

Gonna edit my test post first. Profile will be done later tonight.

Test Post:
"Bright day out today..." Kenji wiped at his forehead. No sweat, more of a nervous tick really. It was lunch time, and he'd been too late to his favorite lunch vendor. The only thing left was beef bowl. And what the hell was beef without any curry?! For such a prestigious school, you'd think they'd take better care of their students. Tch.

Letting out a loud and audible sigh, he flipped to his feet from the bench he was lying down on. Letting out a stretch as he walked forward, his hands slowly drifted to the back of his and cupped there, as if his hands were preventing his head from rolling back and falling off his neck. He stopped for a moment to try and remember where he just came from. He wanted to say it was history, but he was too engrossed in a book of his own he was reading. It consisted of a lot of magical girls beating up vikings.

While pondering what it would look like to see a bunch of middle school kids beating up strong, armored warriors, he made his way over to the local tankatsu. Not only would they have the much desired curry, but it would be captured in between crunchy bits of fried dough mixture, mixed in with pork cutlet cut up just right, and he'd even have the option of tossing katsu sauce over the whole thing. His mouth started watering.

The was the plan, at least. On the way, he happened upon a group of students playing what appeared to be a game of catch on the streets. on further inspection, it became apparent it was a game of monkey in the middle. A short boy, probably a year junior to Kenji. He was running back and forth between a group of three who kept throwing an object between each other. They were all laughing, having a grand old time at this poor kid's expense.  

Walking straight into the closest member of the group, he caught the object as it came flying to him. Jeez, it couldn't get any more pathetic.

It was an action figure.

Kenji immediately dropped down into a crouch, staring at the figure. He recognized it - it was from a popular current Senshi show based off of animals. The figure he was holding had bird-like feature, from wings that apparently worked as it hovered from one kid to the next. Kenji fingered at the toy, smiling as he did so. "No freaking way, this thing looks authentic. Would've never let it out of the box at all."

He held the figure so that it was standing in the middle of his palm. Blowing a breath of air, the figure then glided over to the owner, who quickly grabbed the toy and immediately ran away. He recognized Kenji, and didn't want to have anything to do with him. Now that Kenji took a good look at him, he was in his English class: he was one of the few who didn't have any sort of accent when speaking in English, which was a pretty odd feature.

Now the action figure just glided over to the kid, and it appeared that Kenji blew a breath to send it over. In actuality, he used the kinetic energy he stored from capturing the action figure and distributed it back to the same figure, aiming it towards the kid so he'd be able to catch it. Just like he planned though, the other kids began discussing of how to take care of a little Esper who had to breath to use his powers.

By now, the other kids had surrounded him. Kenji frowned, looking around. His back was to a wall, and all three were directly in front of him. Kenji took a small step back. "What? You jerks were going to break his toy." Without another word, one of the kids pushed Kenji, but he stood his ground, grabbing at the pusher's hands who found that his forward momentum was slowing down. Kenji then released his hands, cocking his head to the side. This caused the first attacker to back up, confused as to why it seemed like he had done nothing. Not allowing anyone else to react, Kenji pressed an open palm against the kid to the most right of him. He grinned, and the kid was suddenly sent sprawling back, as if he had just been pushed.

Now only the kid in the middle was in front of him. Getting ready to punch each other in the face, they were immediately stopped by one of Kenji's teachers, who began dragging him back towards the school grounds. The other kids ran off, as they weren't even part of Nagatenjouki Academy. Kenji just let his head hang low as the teacher scolded him, berating him for acting out of line for someone from Nagatenjouki, and he had a reputation he had to uphold in the name of his school, and blah blah blah, Kenji had already drowned him out and was paying more attention to his grumbling stomach.

Another day with no lunch...

He did notice one sight before being dragged into the school itself. A kid standing off to the side, playing with an action figure that looked like a birdman. Kenji laughed as he slowly fell in mid air, canceling out the fact that the teacher tried to throw him through the school doors. He instead used the energy to leap over the teacher and run straight out of the school gates. He still had a few minutes to grab something before the lunch hour was over with.


Last edited by Hayama Kenji on Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:11 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Change to better showcase a display of power.)

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Re: [Esper] Hayama Kenji

Post  Mugino Shizuri on Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:40 am

It’s been a while since I’ve seen an Esper character on the dissection table. And now we even got three at once?

Anyway I will start with you, since it’s the one with the earliest timestamp.


I. The Overall Character - Just Enough

I can see that the phrase «just enough» serves to embody not only Kenji himself, but the whole of his profile. It’s short, lacking anything to catch my attention and actually quite bland at that. His attitude is neither impressing nor anything out of place. Even the history is just nothing special. The length, while I usually wouldn’t jump at it, is truly the bare minimum.
Thus it is fair to say that this profile is the bare minimum of everything and should therefore only be granted the bare minimum of everything, which in this case would be a Level 1 ability ranking.

Take this as a warning. You still have the chance to rework things until my next read.


II. The School - It’s not like I didn’t mention it

Nagatenjouki Academy is the best school in all of Academy City. It’s a school for the absolute elite. A category which is hardly defined by powers, but by mental ability. The Nagaten students we have seen thus far (Nunotaba Shinobu) and the reputation this school has, implies that the majority of its students are pure geniuses, capable of working in the higher spheres of science, even for Academy City standards. While that goes for the top, I’d still believe even the bottom are quite the outrageous students.
Kenji however doesn’t match the concept of such an elite in any possible way. Starting off with his delinquent like appearance, over his mindset of only giving the bare minimum up to the fact that this profile doesn’t make him out to be remarkable in any way, it’s highly evident that he should not be enlisted at that school.

Therefore I would suggest you either changed the school or elaborated a whole lot more on why he is a fit for Nagatenjouki Academy. And by a whole lot, I mean something that is actually convincing.

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Re: [Esper] Hayama Kenji

Post  Hayama Kenji on Tue Sep 27, 2016 4:45 am

Took your criticism into consideration, and made a few changes.

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Re: [Esper] Hayama Kenji

Post  Mugino Shizuri on Tue Sep 27, 2016 10:53 pm

I can see that you took my advice to the heart. An enjoyable sight.


II. The School - Back Again

While the length issue has been dealt with, there is still this which remains unsolved. There has been no chance in my stance that Kenji is not cut out to be a student at Nagatenjouki Academy. He’s not pouring any effort into things and even the explanation for why he got in isn’t sufficient in my eyes. People at Nagatenjouki are geniuses in the fields of science. So even if he were to have gotten in, he would have to work his ass off to stay. It’s the top of the elites after all.
And~I do think developing an algorithm connected to your own ability isn’t a great feat to begin with. Any Esper, even at a shitty school should hold those capabilities. Calculation is every AC student’s trade.

I really do doubt that this is the right fit for him. Thus, I would request you to alter the school Kenji attends to something not that high class.


III. The Ability - Deja vu?

The ability to absorb and release kinetic energy is actually something I had before me, before, so I might rely on my memories of the earlier case.

Let’s start off by asking a fairly simple question: How exactly is this even intended to function? Kinetic energy is the energy of an objects movement. So if he were to drain the kinetic energy of an object, let’s say a thrown baseball, he’d need to touch it, yet not stop its flight. Since he will absorb an energy of 10km/s per second, he’d drain only a small fraction of that in the split second the touch will take (either due to the collision taking in all the energy or due to the ball leaving his grasp again since he only may have grazed it). Not to forget that there would still be a delay between focussing on the usage and the actual usage.

Looking at the possible applications you named I’m a bid reluctant to accept the trap concept, since that one sounds fairly unfitting. The only way Resonance Breaker should work in my eyes would be absorbing and releasing kinetic energy, with the release being very direction, like directly emerging from the contact point. I’d be allowing of transferring it into an object he’d set into motion for example, leading to an increase of that energy or setting something into motion, but nothing beyond that. The trap aspect for example would fall off the wagon immediately. Oh and anything else along the lines of advanced energy manipulation would meet the same fate.

While I would say a kinetic push is actually possible, I’d say there should be a short delay between the moment of absorbing the energy and releasing it again, disqualifying the idea of direct counters.
On that note, please give a measurement for the delay~


IV. Other Abilities - Piezoelectric

I had to google it due to the explanation being insufficient. That’s something you should avoid in case of a profile. Therefore please clarify what a piezoelectric is so that even idiots can understand. Because as of now I don’t really get its function.


V. Balancing - My Concern

Let’s see, Kenji is someone who focusses strongly on the improvement of his ability, is quite intelligent and also has pretty well fledged physical capabilities and skills. That’s pretty much the full palette. And the full palette is something I do consider illogical and not possible to accept. People aren’t perfect and especially characters on a forum should have at least some sort of balancing to themselves. Therefore I would like you to balance out this character a bit more, either by making him average at all of that or adjusting the scales in a way that shows a clear division.


VI. The History - Contradictions I Guess

How did I end up making this the final profile point I’m addressing?

My main issue with the history lies in the contradiction it causes with the rest of the profile. I really don’t see how the ability you described matches the feats mentioned in the history. Stopping a balloon in mid air? How, if it requires touch? Making a fan blow into the opposite direction? Same question.
It was a crucial time for Kenji; he began displaying what in the future he would name Dissonance Breaker
Just nitpicking, but Academy City names the abilities, not the Espers~

Actually what happened to Rei? Did she just settle on avoiding him? Academy City is still only a fraction of a city size wise after all.

I also don’t seem to understand what kind of supervisor she placed on him. The Power Curriculum is usually supported by the schools after all, is it one of the centre topics of an Esper’s education. Therefore I don’t really see the role of a supervisor here.

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Re: [Esper] Hayama Kenji

Post  Hayama Kenji on Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:22 pm

You've actually turned me into agreeing with a lot of your grievances. I honestly only wanted my character to enter Nagatenjouki to give him the feel of being intelligent, but you made a very good point about Kenji appearing as the whole package. In the long run, that's going to get boring, fast. I'm opting for that certain unnamed high school instead.

I've also changed how 'intelligent' Kenji appears. Any books smarts he may have only stems from what he'll actually study, so while at one time in his life he may have been 'smart', that is no longer the case. I really just want to relay he's quick witted, and often times makes bad choices from 'thinking too fast'.

I've changed Kenji's story, to kind of settle what happens with Rei. It also affects the changes to his personality and ability.

Speaking of the ability, I got rid of two things: piezoelectric and the trap ability. The first was more of a flavor thing, but also bends into the realm of being able to transfer 'any' type of energy. The logic and theory was sound to me, but I don't want the to be any sort of ultimate power. The trap ability is the same thing, however I would rather than Kenji is able only to store this energy, and not really place that power anywhere.

I think the overall concept is more built out, and certainly more refined than previously. Feel free to nitpick as you please; as you may recall, I only have experience in this world with two seasons of To Aru, and that was many years ago.

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Re: [Esper] Hayama Kenji

Post  Mugino Shizuri on Thu Sep 29, 2016 8:03 pm

I can see the traces of your edits quite well. Very good very good. I do need to apologise for not sounding like I’m considering the anime watcher point of view. I hope at least my attempts to always add an explanation the points I’m raising do appear fine enough.

Both the change of schools and the alternated version of his history do feel a whole lot better to me, creating an ideally fitting concept. Good job on that as well.

Anyway, next round of dissection.


III. The Ability - Refining It

I’d like a bit more examples for the energy drain. To what can the values of 10km/s and 50km/s be compared? I’m asking this for your average idiot reader without much of an idea of physics~

Then again my actual initial wish when reading over this version was a mention of application range in shape of a numerical (metric) value. You said it’d affect anything within his AIM Diffusion Field, but that’s a bit too vague. Actual numbers usually make things easier to handle and the people do actually know their numbers.

Finally I would like to limit his application to a single object he has to focus on, that fine with you?
There is lash back with this effect, however, as there is a backdraft when he releases the energy violently from within his body, and has led him to breaking bones before.
His own bones?


VI. The History - Series Background Knowledge, Woo!

OK, this is something the anime did not really cover, or at least only dropped hints at, so I will take my time to clarify things. Not that it is an all too bad thing to do:

The Power Curriculum Program, as it name may suggest, is strongly focussed on building up on the abilities of the Espers, meaning there is actually a whole lot of support and training for all students. Of course working on it yourself is also one thing that still fits there. Usually both teachers and scientists working for research institutions are eager to help the students in their advance, as long as they show the potential and their abilities do have something interesting to them. Strangely enough it does take the schools and laboratories not that much to see what ones ability can do and where it can be lead. So to say, even if one explored it by themselves, the ones watching would already know a whole lot more.

So please mind that Kenji’s accomplishments are not just solely carved by his own hard work, but also with the support of scientists and teachers alike~

Drop a sentence or two to at least keep it mentioned, I guess.

Not to forget that free power usage outside of labs and school grounds is actually considered a breach of Academy City rules.

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Re: [Esper] Hayama Kenji

Post  Hayama Kenji on Thu Sep 29, 2016 10:14 pm

Hehe, getting in trouble with Judgement would be a bad thing.

Okay, this time I really only did a few edits. Made sure to acknowledge researchers and teachers in assistance with power development, and I tried to clear the Power up more. More numbers to look at and digest.

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Re: [Esper] Hayama Kenji

Post  Mugino Shizuri on Fri Sep 30, 2016 10:31 pm

It's been a while since a more complicated evaluation went this well. I'm grateful to have somebody this understanding and willing to cooperate before me. So let's not hold this up for any longer, shall we?


[Level 2 Dissonance Breaker]

I should have commented on the ability name! I really should have!

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