[Magician] Sir Alexander Beathen

FULL NAME: Sir Alexander Beathen
OTHER ALIAS: Lord Beathen, The Golden Haired Knight, The Support Knight
CURRENT AGE: 23
GENDER: Male
OCCUPATION: Knight
FACTION: The Knights of England
Family: Sarah Beathen (Younger Sister) Martha Poppins (Grandmother) Charles Beathen (Father) Eloise Beathen (Mother) William Beathen (Uncle)
Family Mission:Understanding and preserving the history of Arthurian Lore while using anything from that era to strengthen the nation. But most importantly to protect the stability and ensuring the future of the United Kingdom, even if it destroys them.

APPEARANCE: With Short golden blonde hair and green eyes Alexander looks like one of the finest gentlemen fit for the status of an English knight. His young body while doesn't seem physically strong tends to lead people to underestimate him at first. In casual moments he is typically seen wearing a full black business suit with a black scabbard attached which holds his blade to his belt. He also has a white shield with a red cross which is either strapped to his back or arm.  

Sometimes he is seen in a more casual attire of a red jumper and blue jeans. Though this is mainly at home and nowhere else.

However, in battle and moments of peril, he puts on his custom knight armour which has been passed down the many generations of the Beathen family line. Harden steel plates, with blue underclothing and golden trim which makes him stand out as a figure of importance worthy of his stature. It was a purpose choice of attire since it makes him stand out more in the battle getting the enemies attention to focus on him.

HEIGHT: 175cm
WEIGHT: 69kg
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: While Alexander comes from a family of knights, its nothing special beyond every other knight family out there. But despite this, the young knight projects a sense of 'presence' which makes him stand out compared to the rest and often portrays him as someone of royalty. However, this isn't the case since Alexander has no connection to the royal family and the 'presence' is the result of the Sword in the stone.

PERSONALITY:
Knight's Chivalry
Befitting his status as a Knight of England, he is the very definition of a gentleman but understands very well that displaying this trait has its place. He seems to employ this more in social situations as it's the only form of effective communication he understands. Being so well versed in proper manners and common respect he often has been described as an ideal knight. Though some call him old fashioned.

But what always remain is his sense of honour, never using underhanded tactics on enemies no matter how dire the situation has become since it would be an insult to his Chivalry.

Some have described his Chivalry as a curse, and that is because there are more underhanded individuals who would take advantage the honourable ones. So it's more likely he would be taken advantage of his sense of Chivalry and the strong sense of justice.

Examples of his Chivalry are as follows:
-To never abandon the weak or the injured
-To never abandon the innocent before the guilty  
-To never abandon ones' ideals
-To never abandon ones' duty (*)
-To never betray the one you have given your loyalty(*)
-To always be faithful and honest
-To always treat women with the respect they deserve
-To always honour a challenge to a duel
-To always fight with honour at all times.
-To never turn your back on your fellow knights in times of mortal peril and never on an enemy
-And to always protect the country and its future

(*) Only when his Sense of Chivalry and justice conflicts with his loyalty to the one he has sworn and the truth of the task he was set up on. Alexander has always chosen his ideals over his allegiance, and this is the only times when it's deemed right to break his oath of loyalty.

Empathetic & Kind-hearted:
Alexander has always been a listener and keen to help others which along with his studies in body language has allowed him to become empathetic. Allowing him to understand people's intentions and to figure out if they're lying or not. While he isn't always accurate, the knight's reasons for this shows his kind heart wanting mainly to help but also help others to overcome their pains. However, this is also a practical meaning to it and that the ability to understand others is one step towards being an effective leader.

Born for Battle
A completely different individual during battle, the knight's eyes are cold towards his enemies and rarely does he flinch at the sight of brutality or blood. It's hard to understand the reason for this behaviour, but the advantages allow him to be level headed and react appropriately without the chaos of fighting clouding his judgement. One thing is clear that this state of mind can be rather frightening to see when comparing to his actions outside of battle.

Social Cluelessness and Honesty
Alexander has grown up around formal meetings and high-class people this had lead to a life of formality which leaves him unprepared for life outside that social circle. While in his case this isn't the biggest negative it has left to often blunders and social misunderstandings leaving him unsure how to respond to those outside his circle. While this is something that will sort itself out with time as he continues to be exposed to those not so formal. This behaviour had also lead to some moments of brutal honesty; not afraid to speak his mind when he feels something has to be said he often does this with the good intentions and yet his honesty can seem harsh.

This is because his father has often treated him with the same respect and emulates his parent in this fashion.

A Beathen's loyalty
Often the first words to describe the Beathen family is loyalty, and Alexander is no different who's loyalty to his cause and those he follow seem unbreakable. But there comes a time when oaths and honour come into conflict. Stubborn to his ideals and his family mission there is one thing when his vows can be broken to retain his honour, and that is when the survival of the country is in question.

Overthinker and the Hood
Just as one needs to sharpen their sword to keep it up, Alexander does this with his mind by analysing and studying various subjects in his spare time. Leading to a habit to assume much more than there is and often overthinks a situation which has a simple solution. It's a lack of focus on the most likely solution which is down to him considering everything at once.

To compensate Alexander had developed another habit which defines him. While there isn't much sense to it, the young knight can often focus better once his hood is up and it comes down to him just feeling more comfortable this way. As a result, he's often seen entering battle or leading others with his hood up, and a sign is that he's prepared to execute his plan.

LIKES:
-Arthurian Lore
-Learning about other cultures
-Testing his strength in honourable combat
-People who see beyond petty differences
-Competitive activities.
-Reading
-Food
-Honesty

DISLIKES:
-Traitors/Betrayal
-People who hurt others without good reason
-Those not being honest about his cooking
-Those who insult his family name
-Dishonorable Combat
-And those who threaten his country and its citizens.
-Unnecessary fighting.

STRENGTHS:
-The determination to see his objectives through to the end.
-Unmatched Loyalty
-True Battle Sense and Understanding.
-Battle tactics
-Instincts
-Cooking
-One on One honourable duel
-Leadership
-Horse riding

WEAKNESSES:
-Physically compared to other knights he is weaker due to his focus on tactics and leadership skills.
-Doesn't see his life worth anything compared to anyone else.
-Despite knowing when he gets manipulated he isn't willing to breaking his oath of loyalty until the ones manipulating him starts to trample on his ideals.
-Tries to take all the burdens onto himself
-Quick to Anger when witnessing acts of betrayal.

HISTORY:

Born into the Beathen family line which has been serving the country as Knights for many generations. Alexander is the 19th generation of the Beathen family. His family have been known as experts on the Arthurian Legends, with many artifacts and magical knowledge passed down the generations. Some even believed they are one of the few remaining knight families from that era and this belief has lead to a natural respect of the Beathen name.

However, that respect comes hand in hand with animosity among other old families from the same era. Some are jealous of their influence, and some crave for the knowledge the family possessed. But many call the family old-fashioned for teaching children at a very young age how to fight and at the age of eleven they expected to be well versed in swordsmanship and battle tactics.

They're also taught the fundamentals of a Knight's Chivalry and the value of Loyalty. The first idea was to swear loyalty to the country first and the royal family second.

Alexander was taught all of this at a very young age including the history of the household and it's connection to the Arthurian Legends. The desire to recover and study lost magic of the era has lead to many dangerous experiments with magical formulas. So much so that magicians from other old families at times work together to ensure safety.

Attempting to fit the role of heir to the family, Alexander took his studies seriously more so than his physical capabilities and while he's no push over to the average man. Compared to every other knight he fails in comparison because of his focus on intellect and tactics of war. But he upholds honour just like every other knight and maybe even more. This had lead to a rather remarkable win streak in honourable one on one duels. With his kind behaviour for his fellow knights and those who serve his family, he has earned the respect and admiration of those who follow the Beathen name. This behaviour, however, is mostly detested by Victoria LionHeart, who belonged to the family who has been a long time ally of the Beathens.

She was the complete opposite of Alexander who focused on the physical capabilities of a knight and didn't see much in the tradition of honourable duels. She valued the freedom to act with her desires and feel that a true knight should be able to win with their sword. Often coming into conflict with Alex and his views they both were part of the same era of squires soon to become knights. But there was one final test for them which would lead them to a duel. However, they weren't exactly completely hostile towards each other. The LionHeart and the Beathens were long time friends and as such Alexander had asked his father to give the young lioness with the Black Knight suit as a gift. While Victoria appreciated the gift, she knew Alexander was only respecting the alliance between there houses. However, she hadn't realized Alexander recognized the young Lioness for staying to her beliefs. Something he had hoped, she would soon respect in the future.

There was a reason why she didn't hold much respect for Alexander since she valued the knights who uphold themselves in battle. Alexander was not such a knight, sure he was a capable fighter and wasn't exactly defenceless. But in the face of other knights, he would fail unless for some reason an honourable duel was called. And that is what she had given him on this final test; she agreed to uphold the principles of a noble fight to give Alexander a fighting chance. Since she knew for some reason, he was only at his best in such a method of fighting. And this is because he had never beaten Victoria and when honour isn't in the question he rarely beats any other knight. Only when an honourable duel is brought into question does his motivation and focus peak allowing him to focus on the singular purpose to fight.

Victoria wanted to become the strongest Knight in the country; she wanted to prove it to everyone. And while currently, she wasn't the strongest in the country, she was the top of her and Alexander's class. To many it would be obvious Alexander would lose until it was decided that he would use a shield. Before this moment Alexander had only use a singular weapon in his fights, and he always felt a bit off. His uncle often tell him that he should find the perfect blade or equipment he felt was natural for him to use in battle.

And that answer was the sword and shield. It matched Alexander perfectly, for his ideals and honour. The shield represented his desire to protect the country and its people; the sword represents his willingness to fight for them no matter the cost. Victoria accepted this sudden change of equipment for she was now using the magical item known as the Black Knight's armour.

But she wasn't ready for the new fighting style that Alexander was going to employ. Victoria was an aggressive knight and when asked she felt the best defence was a great offence. Alexander again was the opposite as he valued a great defence was the best offence. Victoria believed she was winning, everybody did, and they encouraged her so. It was this confidence which blinded her to Alexander's calm eyes, the look she would figure that Alexander had a plan. Taking advantage of her confidence, knowing her aggressive fighting style and the power of the Black Knight Armour. Alexander won the duel through points, which was decided by the number of times you landed a hit on the enemy. Victoria had lost because she wasn't use to Alexander's style with a shield while he was use her method of fighting style and calm behaviour would win out with carefully timed strikes. But he didn't win flawlessly his stamina in comparison to Victoria was widely different and attempting to withstand her assault was exhausting.

Despite winning the duel, Alexander was the one fell to the ground in the end while Victoria remained standing.

Since that day they had become knights, neither of them had met again being swamped by their duties. Though the truth is Victoria used any excuse to escape the duty-bound knight, thinking his life is false and would pay for it one day. But despite one's distaste of his behaviour Alexander had worked to become one worthy of being heir to the Beathen household and a true knight.


(MAGIC NAME): Elisium928; To fight for a better world beyond the one we see now, dream held deeply by Alexander this wish was formed during his trials as a knight. Seeing so much cruelty and dishonour, discrimination among groups at the time. Alexander had hoped to see a better world where all of this didn't exist and people can follow their dreams without the fear of discrimination and violence because of simply what they believed in.

Equipment/abilities:

The Red Cross Of Galahad
With the lessons of Idol theory at work, the white steel crafted shield with a red cross symbolises the Miracles of the God's knight; Sir Galahad. There has been many tales of the God's knight cooling a lake which was set on fire and performing miracle healing a mortally sick king and restoring cripple's limbs.

The power of this spiritual item bestows Alex with the following abilities.

1) He can heal many wounds by regenerating a target's damaged tissue and stop the bleeding. This also includes mortal wounds which would normally claim a person's life without proper treatment. He cannot, however, re-attach limbs or save somebody after they already have died.

2) Passive self-healing is an effect that is outside Alex's control. It seems to be a much slower form of his main healing ability which can be performed under a minute, this ability could take many minutes, hours or even a days to recover Alex's wounds depending on the extent of the damage.

This ability is automatically shut down the moment he attempts to heal someone else.

3) Any fire magic which comes in contact with the shield immediately weakens but doesn't dispel or negate fire spells.

Weakness and Drawbacks:
The ability to heal someone comes at a cost. Like a double edge sword, the power to save others will, in fact, sap away his Stamina and Spirit. So the amount of stamina and spirit it takes away depends on the scale of healing required and a number of times he performs this act without rest.  

And to continue using the powers of this shield, it requires a certain type of ritual or upkeep as payment. This is the practice of the Knight's Code of Chivalry and deviating from this acts would cause the shield to lose its powers after too long.

(Please check the Knight's Chivalry personality trait for the list)

Sword in the Stone:
Is a replica of the legendary blade mostly known from the Arthurian legends, while it's not clear that the sword is either Caliburn or Excalibur it was the known to have been used by King Arthur and later on Sir Galahad after a test to see if he's a worthy knight. Since it plays on the idea of one being worthy, the sword's ability only works in those who are deemed worthy to wield it. And this is played through re-enacting the legend of pulling this sword from a stone. In the hands of those not worthy, the blade is rendered normal.

Crafted through refined blacksmithing techniques developed over hundreds of years. It was made by hand using carbon steel folded four times to strengthen it to as hard as possible and this done to symbolise the unbreakable part of the legend. To signify the part which the sword glows like 'thirty torches', the sword has been well maintained, and as a daily ritual, it's consistently polished.

The finished result is a long sword that is roughly 1.3 meters in length. While it looks like a standard blade, it's hilt is golden with an etched rose pattern design. Alexander stores it in his black standard scabbard and wields it with his right hand.

Abilities:Unbreakable and glows brightly as thirty torches. Being worthy of the sword grants its user confidence to act and makes the user seem more like a Leader. Once drawn the blade is enveloped in a bright yellowish aura, which enhances their presence of someone 'worthy' in the eyes of others. The greatest effect is the on those considered as allies. The sword brings out their fullest potential in battle and enhances their resolve.

Beathen Armour:
None of the followings is the result of magic, but down to the craftsmanship of the armour refined through the Beathen's history. The design of the armour isn't full plated unlike the standard knight equipment, but it offers the best protection it can by also equally granting better mobility. The absence of the helmet is a further custom design upon the current wearer's tastes, and a helmet matching the armour does exist. But it currently has been replaced with the use of a hood attached to the armour.

-Unlike other armours which are full plated, this armour isn't, and as a result, it generates less noise when moving. But like every other armour design it still makes a lot of noise during a Hard March.

-Just like other knight armours, it has the Knight's communication network built in the armour.

OTHER ABILITIES:

Through and through Alexander is a knight of England, experiencing the full training offered to all others and even with numerous equipment. However, he isn't like every other knight, and opted to focus on what he called an even a sharper weapon than the strongest blade, and this is his mind.

Knightly Strength:
As a result of his focus being elsewhere, Alexander is only eight times stronger than a normal human making other knights almost twice as stronger than the young knight.

This also translates into his skill with arms and while all other knights are master of all trades of weaponry and combat. Alexander is only a master with the sword and shield, with being rather good at everything else but not a master like the others.

A Sharpened Mind:
Probably his greatest strength, Alexander's mind has been developed over many years at the consequence of other abilities. Thanks to the many fields he has studied, and the appetite to learn more has allowed him to have a great understanding of the battlefield and all sorts of tactics. While he does tend to overthink things and is slightly naive due to being inexperience, the young knight is often coming up with numerous possible solutions to an existing problem. And along the confidence given to him by his sword, Alexander has become adept at politics and with a potential to grow.  

Honourable Combat:
Alexander loves testing his strength in honourable combat and attempting to overcome his fellow knights with a duel. He enjoys this to such an extent he fights with increased resolve and rarely wastes a movement. However, this can be disturbed by anyone committing an unhonourable act.

CHARACTER THEME:



PLAYER'S NAME: Alexander Beathen
RATING: M
FACE CLAIM: Fate/ Protoype for Male Saber
OTHER CHARACTERS: Oda Taichi
MISC. INFORMATION: He doesn't seem to hold a grudge against the Anglican Church at least for now.

Test Post:

The Original Profile:

I haven't done a character review in awhile but since this caught my eyes at a good time I'll try to address the main issues efficiently.

His history seems abit too vague. The fact that he's only seven months old and kind of brought into existence with no explanation what so ever seem strange from a magical point of view. I know you based this off the Fate franchise but it feels quite out of place if I had to look at it from this world's magical understanding.

The closest example I can currently think of from the top of my head is Meigo Arisa from the movie who was a byproduct of a certain Esper's wish for a miracles which coincided with everyone else's (on the spaceplane), which then induced a distortion powerful enough to interfere with the laws of causality and create a miracle lifeform in the form of Meigo Arisa.

That's the only known example of a human being (or saint in this case) magically just appearing with no explanations at all. It's very sketchy and relatively unknown since even Aleister exclaims he's uncertain of how to reproduce the effects.

I can think of one way to replicate it to create a miracle being like Meigo Arisa but this by itself would be a very complicated ritual and I'm not sure how likely the other staff will approve of it. That way being similar to Shutaura's circumstance of being put in danger and having everyone wish for a miracle knight in shining armor to save the day, which seems unlikely since most people in that kind of situation would think of a miracle that they would return home safely if anything else.

Again, I don't think we'll be approving Miracle as a playable character so I would like you to create a normal human magician.

There is also a huge lack of explanation as to how he got acquainted with the Knights of England. Where did he first encounter them? What inspired him to take up arms and join the Knights? How was he knighted? To whom does his allegience lie? What are his relations with the British Royal Family and how does he view them? What is he doing in the Knights of England? What are his missions? his accomplishments so far? There's so much I feel you could have potentially explored here.

What worries me is that you put the Knights of England and combined it with this search for Avalon mission he has in his head instinctively. How would he exactly serve the British Crown while actively searching for this artifact? How does the dots connect? Right now they seem like two very different conflicting objectives which would interfere with the other.

For example, if I were to try and fit these two elements together I would first focus on him becoming a knight and flesh out this ideas around him as you explore what his life as a knight is like, how you came to become a knight and what duties you serve as you pledge allegience to the British Royal Family. Then personally I would bring the Avalon into the context by mixing it with canon knowledge from the novel. In the novel Princess Carissa plans for a coup against her own mother and sisters because she feels that leaving Britain to it's current monarch will lead to it's downfall. For the sake of Britain she prepares to stage a coup, gain military power and sought out for the Curtana Original.


What I would have done is to connect the dots like this. You serve the crown and during your career you are secretly requested on Carissa's orders to seek out the spiritual item(Avalon? The Holy Grail? Excalibur? etc I'm sure you can be creative here) to have it used for saving Britain from it's current course of downfall. She orders New Light to search for the Curtana Original while she orders some of the Knights who are unquestioningly loyal to her to search for a artifact related to the myths of Arthurian Legends. This would naturally mean his loyalty towards the British Royal Family, Carissa in particular, is absolute and unwavering. You might even suggest he is Carissa's personal knight. But already this would give alot of ideas to go with, by having the two elements mix into one plot.

Optionally you might also have him connected to Necessarius' Sword Sanctuary where they are involved in caring, storing, customizing, and retuning of powerful and dangerous spiritual items.

That's it for the history side of things for now.

As for your ability, it seems like a general copy pasta of Saber's Prana Burst. Prana Burst isn't really what I'd call a magic in To Aru's sense, rather you would be better off thinking Noble Phantasms work better as Magic in To Aru's context as Idol Theory comes into effect.

I would strongly recommend re-visiting Arthurian Tales and pick out bits and pieces of the myth that interests you, and mold them into a Idol Theory magic that would better fit this universe if you are still interested in using Arthurian Tales as the basis of your magic.

Using fairy tales in magic is actually quite common. To name a few examples here are few characters that utilize fairy tales as their magical basis.

Skogsfru (Skogsfru)
Vasilisa ("Vasilisa the Beautiful")
Theodosia Electra ("The Little Match Girl")
Saronia A. Irivika (Leshy)
Cendrillon ("Cinderella")

If you need more help picking out what you want out of the arthurian tales feel free to leave it blank and focus on the history side of things first.

Just to inform you that the history is now done and would like a review. Still working on the abilities and equipment but I do have a general idea for them.

For the equipment and Abilities. I decided he would be attuned to Archangel Raphael and should have a replica of both Avalon and Caliburn. Resulting in Avalon Second and Shattered Caliburn maybe... Still thinking.

I'm not sure if you can even swing a sword at 8 years old. I've taken HEMA classes myself and those swords are heavier than they look. I hate to say this but it seems too unrealistic for him to inherit the house at such a young age. If you look at history, young kings and lords of house who is entitled to their position by default (parents died etc) usually have mentors of Regents who rule in their place until they come of age because the household will collapse if it was ruled by an 8 year old.

Why was his uncle taking the 8 year old heir on a dangerous mission? does the Beathen family lack household knights to escort him on such perilous journey? Alternatively what good does a 8 year old do to provide him with a back up should they encounter a threat?

Avalon the Second sounds too much like Fate/Stay. I know you based this character off Saber but could I please ask you to reconsider? I'm personally against copy pasting from other shows especially if the details are too obvious, like the scene where Kiritsugu saves Shirou by inserting Avalon into him.

Knight Leader visiting seems fine. Second Princess visiting seems to be overdoing things. As for why he's visiting, couldn't he be visiting because there was a distress call from Uncle Beathen that they're under attack and require reinforcements? Perhaps his uncle was already a prominent member of the Knights of England. Maybe he was a famous sword instructor who personally taught the Knight Leader himself when he was a young aspiring Squire.

You could potentially say the Knight Leader took him under his wing and temporarily agreed to be the Regent of Beathen House until Alex came of age.

11 is still a very young age. I would understand if he became a Squire at that age regardless of where he stood in terms of experience.

Mention of Carissa is very light here. Other than her visit which ended up saving him I can't really see any reason why he would remain strictly loyal and serve unquestioningly. Perhaps a few honorable mentions of her heroic deeds might be a good inspiration for the young Alex to gain admiration and respects for the Second Princess.

When Carissa tells him to use Avalon to save the country... exactly how does that apply? Curtana Original gave her the destructive powers that rivaled an Archangel so comparatively speaking how does the Avalon Second compare when it only affects Alex himself? I thought she would be giving him a mission similar to the one she gave New Light, in that he would be on a secret mission of finding something of great legend from the Arthurian tales. For example, the Holy Grail?

Lady of the Lake Blessing, passive effects like this isn't really a part of To Aru universe.

Armour Equip, again another trait directly copied over from Fate/Stay and since it has no mythical lores as a basis I cannot approve of it. Magic works very differently from Fate/Stay universe, I would highly recommend you to read through the magic guide written by Birdway and Jack


Caliburn sounds quite over powered to be honest. Evil entity summoned with ill intent could possibly mean anything ranging from Stiyl's Innocentis, Sherry's Golem, Archangel Gabriel and you're telling me a single swing of his sword would kill it with ease. In accordance to the Idol Theory magic you'll be using with Caliburn, I can't find anything on Caliburn's myth that it was used to slay a supernatural creature so that idea is out of question. Caliburn from mythical stand point was a Kingmaker sword that brought the country as a united front. I think if anything the sword's Idol Theory would probably allow Alex to be a competent politician one well versed in negotiations. Caliburn was a ceremonial sword to be honest, it was used to knight some of the greatest champions of Camelot and bring them together into one army. Sort of like a glue that initially held the knights of Camelot together.

If I were to use it as a modern day spiritual item that fits into To Aru I would have it so that Caliburn boosts Alex's potential as a negotiator/mediator/politician. It would also work somewhat similar to how Curtana works in that it would bring Knights of England together to create a more powerful army. In other words, the more knights you work with as a team, the stronger the formation of that unit. It would greatly enhance the group's overall battle potentials when Alex joins the party of Knights. I think that's how I would interpret the Kingmaker sword if I had to fit it into To Aruverse.

Overall good work but still needs a few tweaking here and there. Sorry about the trouble but you're almost there. Good luck.

I should express my apologies for the confusion. You see everything that you had read in the Equipment and Ability area should of been removed after completely the first revision of the history. Since it kinda was irrelevant the moment I had indeed did that, so please ignore everything about like the power of Caliburn and Armour equip for example. Since when I overlooked it before redoing the history, even I agreed the sword is overpowered though the intention was only to make it strong against dark creatures and not any creatures with malice.

Index wrote:I'm not sure if you can even swing a sword at 8 years old. I've taken HEMA classes myself and those swords are heavier than they look. I hate to say this but it seems too unrealistic for him to inherit the house at such a young age. If you look at history, young kings and lords of house who is entitled to their position by default (parents died etc) usually have mentors of Regents who rule in their place until they come of age because the household will collapse if it was ruled by an 8 year old.

Was going to explain this with one of the abilities, but I ran out of time since I was in the library. The Beathen family's common traits is to rely on the power of generations past. Like the whole Idea the wealth of experience is passed down through originally Avalon the Second.

Strength and agility would also be the same way. Which could be implemented with Runes marked on his body. That's why one of his strengths is he is stronger and faster then he originally looks in the eyes of enemies.

Index wrote:I hate to say this but it seems too unrealistic for him to inherit the house at such a young age. If you look at history, young kings and lords of house who is entitled to their position by default (parents died etc) usually have mentors of Regents who rule in their place until they come of age because the household will collapse if it was ruled by an 8 year old.

Well the Beathen family had already collapsed before he officially inherited anything. I don't think any Regent would be able to save the family's fate and any capable regent which would make sense was killed that day. Since normally regents tends to be related to the ruler and as I mentioned he was the only survivor of his family. So with no one to help him with this matter he was left to bear the responsibility of what happened and his family's name was stripped of all it's assets. Which I can imagine that it also included land the family formally owned. So when he did inherit the title, it was just a title and a few items.

Nothing to rule over, so I don't think the age would exactly by a problem.

Index wrote:Why was his uncle taking the 8 year old heir on a dangerous mission? does the Beathen family lack household knights to escort him on such perilous journey? Alternatively what good does a 8 year old do to provide him with a back up should they encounter a threat?

Not sure what you mean he was sent on a dangerous mission? Could this be from the old version of the character I forgot to delete? Could you quote this bit when you next see it, since I'm honestly confused. If you mean when they went to investigate what happened, then would there be any guards in the courtyard? I mean it's like imagining would a security guard have their own security guards. So I don't know about that but you can imagine being a young kid despite his training, he would rush towards the scene in panic about the rest of his family.

His Uncle probably had to give chase to protect him.

Index wrote:Avalon the Second sounds too much like Fate/Stay. I know you based this character off Saber but could I please ask you to reconsider? I'm personally against copy pasting from other shows especially if the details are too obvious, like the scene where Kiritsugu saves Shirou by inserting Avalon into him.

Is this about the whole healing factor? Since I was going to depower Avalon the Second even more and change the bit how his Uncle saved him. I decided last night after I had to leave the Library, that Avalon the Second should be nothing but act as a method to try and locate the original Avalon. While I wish to keep the aspect, that it shares the experience of past owners with it's current owner.

Avalon the Second would be a device which acts like two magnets pulling towards each other. Like a compass to the original Avalon, not a very good one since many generations after it's creation they still haven't found the original.  What about that since I think any type of healing factor was honestly pushing it.

Index wrote:Knight Leader visiting seems fine. Second Princess visiting seems to be overdoing things. As for why he's visiting, couldn't he be visiting because there was a distress call from Uncle Beathen that they're under attack and require reinforcements? Perhaps his uncle was already a prominent member of the Knights of England. Maybe he was a famous sword instructor who personally taught the Knight Leader himself when he was a young aspiring Squire.

I think the idea of the Second Princess visiting was to foreshadow her request of Alexander later on in life. Do you think should would be planning this far ahead? As the news of the Beathen family discovering a lead on one of the most powerful artifacts in Arthurian legend would attract her attention. I assume that news would be a few days old to give time for the other family representatives to gather and thus explain why the Knight Leader along with the Princess was really visiting other then just to pay respect. Since I assume the first thing on her mind would be how she could use it as a military asset, so she came to see for herself.

I think this would make more sense then his Uncle contacting him, since the attack was so out of the nowhere I don't think even a strong knight would be able to predict it. Unless he had a communication device on him just before they went to investigate the destruction of the manor.

Index wrote:
You could potentially say the Knight Leader took him under his wing and temporarily agreed to be the Regent of Beathen House until Alex came of age.

That's an idea, but would there be anything left to rule? What do you think of the whole compensation thing to the other old families? How do you imagine what would be left of the Beathen's wealth. Since I don't think they will have much land other then where the family manor resided on.

Other then maybe an estate in London, there may not be much else. But I agree Knight Leader could be the Regent, since there is no other logical option. Though If I recall even if there is still a Regent, Alex would still inherit the title as head of house at eight years old. But only just in name and not the power that comes with the title until hes old enough. It's like how young heirs still inherit the title of King as a symbol but power resides in the Regent.

Index wrote:11 is still a very young age. I would understand if he became a Squire at that age regardless of where he stood in terms of experience.

Yeah that's understandable, the intention was to really play on the old fashioned traditions of the Beathen Household. But who would really listen to the traditions of a now almost dead family? If the Knight Leader is indeed the Regent he could ignore this and that would make sense. So yeah I guess he would be a Squire up until he was fifteen at least? Giving him a year experience as a full fledged knight?

Index wrote: Mention of Carissa is very light here. Other than her visit which ended up saving him I can't really see any reason why he would remain strictly loyal and serve unquestioningly. Perhaps a few honorable mentions of her heroic deeds might be a good inspiration for the young Alex to gain admiration and respects for the Second Princess.

I thought it was to show just how fiercely loyal Alex can be at times. But I don't think he was strictly loyal towards Carissa until she tells him about the current course the country is going down and her desire to save it from that fate. To protect the country and it's people is one of Alex's strongest ideals. So it would only make him feel more respect for the Second Princess. Though maybe it's to be pointed out that his loyalty is first to his country, so hearing the country is on a course for it's downfall would easily grasp his attention.

You could say this is Carissa manipulating Alexander because of his ideals, which is why it's said that his chivalry and loyalty can be a curse since it allows for people to manipulate him by using it. I think this is a better way to make him loyal to the country first then the royal family, since it basically secures his loyalty and would make him continue fighting to save the country even if Carissa was defeated. This could also lead to any interesting development when the other side attempt to convince him hes on the wrong course.

Besides it's mentioned Alex wants to continue the traditions of his family and keeping those alive. So being loyal to Princess Carissa isn't far-fetched since being loyal to the country and then the Royal family is one of those traditions.  

Index wrote:When Carissa tells him to use Avalon to save the country... exactly how does that apply? Curtana Original gave her the destructive powers that rivaled an Archangel so comparatively speaking how does the Avalon Second compare when it only affects Alex himself? I thought she would be giving him a mission similar to the one she gave New Light, in that he would be on a secret mission of finding something of great legend from the Arthurian tales. For example, the Holy Grail?

What it meant by that is the Avalon the Second was created originally by the Beathen House hold to act like a compass to find the original Avalon. So that is what she meant when she pointed to Avalon the Second.

She wanted him to use it to find the original Avalon and allow her to use it to save the country. I know I said he should use it, but I'll change it so it means allow 'her' to use it to save the country. Sorry for the confusion and I don't know about the Holy Grail, wouldn't that be something more important and risky on a global scale? Since the Holy Grail is considered the cup used by Jesus? So wouldn't attempting to find it cause more tensions with the Roman Catholic church, which in turn could ruin her plans in regards to her own country then actually save it.

And I haven't even thought of Excalibur, since I guess that sword should be left well alone for being too powerful which I imagine. I'll leave it for your input if you so desire.

Maybe Carissa is the one who gives Alex the Avalon the Second to use it to find the original one? And that Caliburn is the only artifact he inherited from his family?

Index wrote:If I were to use it as a modern day spiritual item that fits into To Aru I would have it so that Caliburn boosts Alex's potential as a negotiator/mediator/politician. It would also work somewhat similar to how Curtana works in that it would bring Knights of England together to create a more powerful army. In other words, the more knights you work with as a team, the stronger the formation of that unit. It would greatly enhance the group's overall battle potentials when Alex joins the party of Knights. I think that's how I would interpret the Kingmaker sword if I had to fit it into To Aruverse.

Again in regards to all the equipment and abilities you read when you made your last post. I had forgotten to remove them before I left the Library yesterday. So putting those aside you have a great idea in regards to Caliburn. Instead of having Avalon the Second of being the cause of his Majestic presence, the Caliburn would be the cause of it which basically increases his charisma in social interactions.

Or as you say negotiator/mediator/politician. This would also play into his ability to tell if someone is lying or at least to convince people to tell the truth. Which is why he is brought in to question arrested suspects. I also thing the stronger the squad of Knight which Alex is part of is a good idea, since a charismatic individual would in turn increase their moral and determination.

Though there is some things I need to think about in that regards. Would the blade be a replica or maybe just the handle being the actual thing. Since the handle/hilt of Caliburn could be a recovered artifact and was restored with the actual blade being the replica part. Or the entire thing being a replica.

Also the implications it would have on the general society. Since calling it the Kingsmaker sword would have political ramifications. We know that the Curtana Original is the sign of the leader of the country, so that may conflict with the meaning of Caliburn. Since it's no longer relevant in modern times, it could just be a former Kingsmaker sword but still once a sword which decided a King. So the symbol of having Alexander at Carissa maybe was one of the many important steps before she committed the British Halloween event.

I'm still not sure in regards to his general abilities. If you don't mind the now depowered Avalon Second which provides past generation experience and including your version of Caliburn. Also not forgetting the Rune marks on his body which gives him enhanced strength and agility. I had intended to make him attuned to the Archangel Raphael. Because the colour of it would be yellow, this would refer to his natural hair colour and maybe the colour of Caliburn or Avalon the Second.

Also because of his tendency to fight at the front and his forward personality. I know they don't exactly help to make him more attuned to Raphael. But personality wise it would fit if he knew wind magic and maybe because he works with Carissa he would learn how to use the Robin hood equipment?

I don't have time to edit the bio yet, but I will do so after work. If you see this before I return, please let me know what you think.

Index wrote: Overall good work but still needs a few tweaking here and there. Sorry about the trouble but you're almost there. Good luck.

No don't worry about it, since I rather people be honest and tell me whats wrong with the character. I want him to work and be accepted. I should apologise for the constant revisions you need to point out for me XD

Alexander Beathen wrote:Was going to explain this with one of the abilities, but I ran out of time since I was in the library. The Beathen family's common traits is to rely on the power of generations past. Like the whole Idea the wealth of experience is passed down through originally Avalon the Second.

Strength and agility would also be the same way. Which could be implemented with Runes marked on his body. That's why one of his strengths is he is stronger and faster then he originally looks in the eyes of enemies.

The idea of passing down experience and physical abilities of the predecessor? This would definitely work if you were making a Magus in a Fate RP since this could be explained as a extension of a external Magic Crest. But again I must remind you that this isn't the same world as Fuyuki and the general idea of Magic works differently when compared to the Thaumaturgy used in Nasuverse. I'm afraid without any sources of myth and legend that could possibly explain how or why Avalon has such an ability, I can't really accept the explanation of how it currently is designed to work.

Nowhere in Arthurian Legends does the scabbard claimed to possess such abilities and as such I'm afraid it can't be used like this either as Idol Theory only translates what was actually written off as existing myths.

If I had to explain magic and how it works in this world I would explain it like this.

Imagine if I told you to create a sword out of foam with nothing else. Sure enough you can probably make an odd shape that kind of resemble a sword but ultimately it won't look exactly detailed or accurate.

You could instead use a pre-existing mold of a sword and pour liquid foam into the mold to create a close replica of a sword design.

The modern day magicians work their magic in a similar fashion. They use pre-existing mold, aka existing myths and legends and pour spiritual energy into that mold in order to create a close replication of the spell they're after. It's ultimately easier as magicians to use existing molds than to try and create something completely original from scratch.

You have the mold Avalon with you and what Avalon Second is, it's a replica of the original and while not strong as the original it carries similar traits of the one shared by myths and legend. The reason why I cannot approve of such Avalon is because I've never heard of Avalon bestowing the wielding with battle experience gained from previous owners. It has to be linked with existing myths surrounding the item or it wouldn't be called a replica at all.

Alexander Beathen wrote:
Not sure what you mean he was sent on a dangerous mission? Could this be from the old version of the character I forgot to delete? Could you quote this bit when you next see it, since I'm honestly confused. If you mean when they went to investigate what happened, then would there be any guards in the courtyard? I mean it's like imagining would a security guard have their own security guards. So I don't know about that but you can imagine being a young kid despite his training, he would rush towards the scene in panic about the rest of his family.

His Uncle probably had to give chase to protect him.

I thought the Beathen house was a family of nobles. The way you spoke of them made them sound like a long lineage of Knights dating back to Camelot age. If so I think it would be odd that their estate didn't have any household knights of their own. If you have made it clear that they're not nobles and they're not influential people within the nobility then I must have missed it.

Alexander Beathen wrote:Is this about the whole healing factor? Since I was going to depower Avalon the Second even more and change the bit how his Uncle saved him. I decided last night after I had to leave the Library, that Avalon the Second should be nothing but act as a method to try and locate the original Avalon. While I wish to keep the aspect, that it shares the experience of past owners with it's current owner.

Avalon the Second would be a device which acts like two magnets pulling towards each other. Like a compass to the original Avalon, not a very good one since many generations after it's creation they still haven't found the original.  What about that since I think any type of healing factor was honestly pushing it.

Healing ability would probably need to be explained further, just how capable it is and what the limitations are. Healing factor by itself is a very very vague term. For all we know it could be referring to Wolverine's level of healing factor where the guy is practically immortal. You need to specify how it works and to what extent. The scabbard having healing properties was a welsh myth so in fact that aspect CAN be integrated into the magical laws of this RP's universe.

The whole magnet thing and the battle experience being passed down like a Magic Crest? That as far as I know aren't a part of the actual myth so I cannot approve of that. I think this must be the 8th time I'm stressing this but Magic Works Differently here.

Alexander Beathen wrote:I think the idea of the Second Princess visiting was to foreshadow her request of Alexander later on in life. Do you think should would be planning this far ahead? As the news of the Beathen family discovering a lead on one of the most powerful artifacts in Arthurian legend would attract her attention. I assume that news would be a few days old to give time for the other family representatives to gather and thus explain why the Knight Leader along with the Princess was really visiting other then just to pay respect. Since I assume the first thing on her mind would be how she could use it as a military asset, so she came to see for herself.

Let's do a bit of maths here. Carissa is around 21 in this RP (Rough estimate) and you claim to be only 16 years old yes? When this tragedy happened you claim that you were 8 years old meaning this event happened 8 years ago. 21 - 8 = 13 year old Second Princess.

Yes we know how accomplished Carissa is as a grown up but I would think it's hardly possible for her to be so interested in the artifact as such a young age. Granted we know next to nothing about her life style when she was 13 years old but I don't think she would have immersed herself in military politics so early on in her life. Nor was Britain facing any great danger at the time either.

Alexander Beathen wrote:I think this would make more sense then his Uncle contacting him, since the attack was so out of the nowhere I don't think even a strong knight would be able to predict it. Unless he had a communication device on him just before they went to investigate the destruction of the manor.

Cellphones. In this world Magicians use all kinds of technology from phones, laptops, cruise missiles and many more.

Alexander Beathen wrote:That's an idea, but would there be anything left to rule? What do you think of the whole compensation thing to the other old families? How do you imagine what would be left of the Beathen's wealth. Since I don't think they will have much land other then where the family manor resided on.

I don't understand the part about the absolute need to compensate for dead families. Yes they died on his household while visiting. So what...? If a family member dies while visiting a museum would the museum owe that family a fortune? If a museum got bombed by a group of terrorist do you think the Museum would be held responsible and pay out life insurance for the family members of the victims? Unless the Beathens signed a contract with the family to sell off their wealth in return for claiming their lives in a terrorist event I don't see why the house would be held responsible. Weren't his own family also wiped out as well? In such events the family wealth would temporarily be frozen because the Court would deem the only heir to be too young to manage the estate on his own, in which case a proper guardian/regent would have to be assigned to help him manage the estate.

Alexander Beathen wrote:Yeah that's understandable, the intention was to really play on the old fashioned traditions of the Beathen Household. But who would really listen to the traditions of a now almost dead family? If the Knight Leader is indeed the Regent he could ignore this and that would make sense. So yeah I guess he would be a Squire up until he was fifteen at least? Giving him a year experience as a full fledged knight?

Might be more interesting if you start out as a Squire and explore what life in the Knight Academy is like. This is just a random suggestion, you're free to decide what's best for you.

Alexander Beathen wrote:I thought it was to show just how fiercely loyal Alex can be at times. But I don't think he was strictly loyal towards Carissa until she tells him about the current course the country is going down and her desire to save it from that fate. To protect the country and it's people is one of Alex's strongest ideals. So it would only make him feel more respect for the Second Princess. Though maybe it's to be pointed out that his loyalty is first to his country, so hearing the country is on a course for it's downfall would easily grasp his attention.

You could say this is Carissa manipulating Alexander because of his ideals, which is why it's said that his chivalry and loyalty can be a curse since it allows for people to manipulate him by using it. I think this is a better way to make him loyal to the country first then the royal family, since it basically secures his loyalty and would make him continue fighting to save the country even if Carissa was defeated. This could also lead to any interesting development when the other side attempt to convince him hes on the wrong course.

Besides it's mentioned Alex wants to continue the traditions of his family and keeping those alive. So being loyal to Princess Carissa isn't far-fetched since being loyal to the country and then the Royal family is one of those traditions.  

Fair point, you should somehow include this line of thinking into his history.

Alexander Beathen wrote:What it meant by that is the Avalon the Second was created originally by the Beathen House hold to act like a compass to find the original Avalon. So that is what she meant when she pointed to Avalon the Second.

She wanted him to use it to find the original Avalon and allow her to use it to save the country. I know I said he should use it, but I'll change it so it means allow 'her' to use it to save the country. Sorry for the confusion and I don't know about the Holy Grail, wouldn't that be something more important and risky on a global scale? Since the Holy Grail is considered the cup used by Jesus? So wouldn't attempting to find it cause more tensions with the Roman Catholic church, which in turn could ruin her plans in regards to her own country then actually save it.

Avalon Second or Avalon Original, it doesn't really change the fact that it's magic doesn't really affect anyone else other than the wielder. I've already ruled out the fact that it can be used as a Magic Crest of ancient Camelot Knights so the only effect the Original has would probably be the healing ability. I'm asking how would this ability that can only save one person, Save Britain? At the end of her plans Carissa planned to die as a tyrant, mimicking what she watched on Code Geass [Save the world, die as a hated tyrant]. It won't make much sense for Carissa to wield the spiritual item.

As for the Grail. Yes it might cause a huge friction with the Roman Catholics. But in all honesty do you really think Carissa is the sort of princess who would care? lol During her time with Curtana Original in her possession it was assumed not even Roman Catholic Church could daringly wage a war of attrition against Carissa. Not when she wielded power that rivaled the Archangels. I figured knowing the Grail's myth, it could be used to save those who became wrapped up in the mess she created. Normal civilians of Britain who has nothing to do with her coup but ends up being injured through the aftermath of the coup. The way I envisioned it, the Grail would be a spiritual item with immeasurable quantity of Telesma which could be tapped into to invoke magic that could heal a country from the aftermath of war. Various forms of christian myths seems to claim it had the similar powers as displayed by the Son of God, with a single touch it can bring even the dead back to life, mend all sickness and injuries, etc etc. If such myths were true it would definitely be worth for Carissa to investigate it because the coup she's planning will result with many unrelated victims and bloodshed if necessary. She might not show it as much but she does genuinely care for her citizens.

Alexander Beathen wrote:And I haven't even thought of Excalibur, since I guess that sword should be left well alone for being too powerful which I imagine. I'll leave it for your input if you so desire.

No.

Alexander Beathen wrote:Again in regards to all the equipment and abilities you read when you made your last post. I had forgotten to remove them before I left the Library yesterday. So putting those aside you have a great idea in regards to Caliburn. Instead of having Avalon the Second of being the cause of his Majestic presence, the Caliburn would be the cause of it which basically increases his charisma in social interactions.

Or as you say negotiator/mediator/politician. This would also play into his ability to tell if someone is lying or at least to convince people to tell the truth. Which is why he is brought in to question arrested suspects. I also thing the stronger the squad of Knight which Alex is part of is a good idea, since a charismatic individual would in turn increase their moral and determination.

You're Welcome.

You wrote:Though there is some things I need to think about in that regards. Would the blade be a replica or maybe just the handle being the actual thing. Since the handle/hilt of Caliburn could be a recovered artifact and was restored with the actual blade being the replica part. Or the entire thing being a replica.

It would still be a Replica.

You wrote:Also the implications it would have on the general society. Since calling it the Kingsmaker sword would have political ramifications. We know that the Curtana Original is the sign of the leader of the country, so that may conflict with the meaning of Caliburn. Since it's no longer relevant in modern times, it could just be a former Kingsmaker sword but still once a sword which decided a King. So the symbol of having Alexander at Carissa maybe was one of the many important steps before she committed the British Halloween event.

You could just call it Sword in the Stone. Caliburn was the original sword Arthur pulled out from the stone.

You wrote:I'm still not sure in regards to his general abilities. If you don't mind the now depowered Avalon Second which provides past generation experience and including your version of Caliburn. Also not forgetting the Rune marks on his body which gives him enhanced strength and agility. I had intended to make him attuned to the Archangel Raphael. Because the colour of it would be yellow, this would refer to his natural hair colour and maybe the colour of Caliburn or Avalon the Second.

Natural hair color is a very weak link to Raphael. Going by that Idol Theory anyone with blonde hair would be attuned to him and possess powers to bend wind. As for Avalon, you keep the healing ability albeit toned down to 1/100th of the original's but again the idea of using it like a Magic Crest is not allowed.

Arthurian Legends are rich with numerous tales you can use as Idol Theory.

For example if I were to create a Knight based on the myths and I had to create a unique Spiritual Item for him, I would make him wear Black Knight's Armor which would have defensive properties that bend cause and effect. Stemming from the fact that there's been numerous accounts of the Black Knight appearing in Arthurian Legends, one can alternatively see this as the Black Knight possessing multiple lives.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Knight_%28Arthurian_legend%29

Wiki seems to state three, I remember reading at least 5. This could mean the Armor is spiritually attuned so that it can defend against a lethal killing blow 3~5 times, the same number of times the Black Knight was sighted and killed in the tales. Injuries that would most certainly kill would be bounced off him while wearing the armor. Sword thrust into his chest would be reflected at least 5 times before it finally stops working for good. But why stop there? This is the modern era so does it even need to be a suit of armor? If I was someone creating Spiritual Items I would cater it to modern day use and make a business suit that successfully carries over the Idol Theory of the Black Knight's Armor. This way the wearer can wear it like a normal day to day business suit without standing out in public and you won't need to suit up into a armor either. Really, there are various myths that could be used as a weapon, you just need to be creative about it and always remember to ask yourself whether this fits into Idol Theory.

OK, the first post has been updated. Hopefully that is everything covered and I decided to get rid of Avalon. Focusing on the legends of Sir Galahad, please let me know if the abilities are passable and if they need nerfing or not. Also I adjusted the history as required, everything should be there unless I miss something.

I also made him older to make his development seem much more realistic. Like how he gets sword training at eleven years old instead of eight. Before then he was just taught/home schooled a bunch of stuff. At the age of eighteen I thought it was right to not only made him a knight, but also to have Knight Leader stand down as the Regent of his family.

I do hope I got it right this time or at least close. Also forgot to ask, what about this RANK: bit just above the ability name?

History checks out so that's fine. I'll have to discuss with the other staff about him being knighted as 18 though. Personally I think he's still too young but it might just be me who is thinking that so I'll discuss it over and get back to you on this.

EDIT: After discussing it over we deemed that 18 is far too young for him to be in position of leading as a captain. Prodigy or not, even with the extensive knowledge he's gained and honed as a Squire, we feel that he would be lacking too much in real field experience as a full fledged combat ready knight for him to lead. For this reason we deemed 21 to be a good age, not only would this give him a solid 3 year experience in the field as a Knight but this would be a good age where the older knights would acknowledge him as being an Adult going by England's current standards. Keep in mind that a good number of Knights of England are between 25~40, there are bound to be far more experienced knights than Alex and it would make little sense to have Alex be in the position of leading some of the Knights when he doesn't have years of experience as a Knight.

Lion's Gauntlet sounds a little out of place. Yes Galahad held the title of a Perfect Knight but not because he excelled in combat but because of his virtuous nature. He was the exemplary shining example of a walking Chivalry. Never harmed a innocent, never pillaged, whored, the guy was a saint compared to some of the knights.

He may have been fierce in battle, and he could have possessed better endurance than most knights. He could also have possessed acute instincts but really, all of these traits could be applied to any of the other named Knights of the Round not just Galahad.

As such traits are not exclusive to Galahad, the idea of using it as a spell based off of Galahad's legends seems moot.

If you wanted to focus on his heroic deeds I would have looked at what defined Galahad and how he alone was set apart differently from the other Knights of the Round. What made him special?

For example, after discovering the Holy Grail he then ascends to heaven in some versions of the myth. He is the only knight among the Round Table to uphold the title of being a God's Knight. This should be able to be portrayed in several ways. In one way you can see the term as being a soldier of God, therefore making Galahad to be one who became an Angel. In the bible, it states that when Adam and Eve was thrown from Eden, an Angel guarded the gates to Eden with a sword made of flames. Taking all this into Idol Theory you could translate it as Alex possessing a Flamberg (called God's Knight) which represents the flaming sword of the God's Knight, allowing Alex to imbue the blade with the fire element.

Instinct sounds like a imported copy from the Fate/Stay wikia. Especially the part where it allows him to instantly identify “the best personal course of action” during combat. You modified slightly but again I must remind you that importing stuff directly from other canon works is rather difficult mainly because the concept of MAGIC works differently. Unless it was actually a well known and celebrated heroic deed like the Trials of Heracles, Saber's Parameters like Instincts are harder to turn it into a spell using Idol Theory mainly because it's so vague and could be applicable to any mythical heroes you can think of.

Made the required changes, I hope this time you would like this new ability which me and Invictus on chat brained stormed together.

Also I've done my test post, going to edit a copy in the main post.

Test Post:

Have a read of what I pm'd you back.

In general the problems I have with it are that it essentially turns him invincible. No fatal attacks would work on him. We don't allow abilities that restrict an opponent with no other options but to go on defensive.

I get that it's been turned into something like Index's white habit, the Walking Church. You will have to go into some details how his suit captures the symbolic essence that turns it into a accurate replica of the Temple. To give you some hints, in order to active such magic you would be required to accurately portray the image of the Round Table and the seats of each Knights of the Round, including the seat reserved for Sir Galahad.

Last but least, the seat was reserved for Galahad. What set him apart from other Knights was that he was the one who "found" the holy grail which gave him the right to claim the unclaimed seat. Alex on the other hand currently shares the same position as the "Other Knights who tried/trying to look for the Holy Grail. As such even if we did meet a agreement of how the spell would work, Alex won't be seen as the one who qualifies the criteria for activating the spell as he hasn't found the Holy Grail.

Food for thoughts.

The Siege of Perilous spiritual item could be an idea for the future if the Grail comes up in an rp. Anyway you said to try and make something which works of what made Sir Galahad special. He was a God's Knight you pointed out and the red cross on white background is a symbol of not only his shield in legend, but also knight templers considered knights of God. What I also noticed that the shield he gains has healing abilities. And that after obtaining the Holy Grail he was able to heal cripples and the sick.

But before he obtained it it's mentioned here at least
http://www.cliffsnotes.com/literature/l/le-morte-darthur/summary-and-analysis/book-6-the-tale-of-the-holy-grail-the-miracle-of-galahad

That he cools a lake on fire and heals a knight before finding the Holy Grail. So pushing the grail aside, this could mean to be the work of the shield.

After Sir Bagdemagus fails, Galahad wins a miraculous white shield marked with a red cross. The white knight who defends the shield tells Galahad its history — it comes from the days of Joseph of Aramathy and has healing powers — then the white knight vanishes.

Keeping everything I mentioned above in mind. This is what I came up with and I hope it works for ya. I've also edited this into the first post in advance. Explaining of his abilities is below the spoiler.

The Red Cross of Galahad:

Since its hard to tell where the healing ability is from the shield or from when he finds the grail in the broad sense of Galahad's miracles. I put in theory since this is only a fraction of true power displayed by Galahad that he is unable to heal cripples or sickness. But is only able to heal normal wounds and I'll leave it up to you to decide if that even includes fatal wounds. I also noticed there has never been any mention of him healing himself, so I made sure to mentioned it doesn't work on him. If you follow the link above you see a mention of him cooling a lake on fire, but not completely putting it out.

This is before finding a grail so with this in mind, the idea that the shield can weaken fire spells that come in contact with it was an idea. Since this is a valuable power, since fire abilities naturally spread to a wide area. So while it protects him, it also help protect any knights hes fighting with.

With the powers of the shield and the sword he has in mind. This basically makes Alexander the support knight and hopefully this would be good enough.

Alright this is what I've wanted to see! You've outdone most magician profiles I've seen so far and very creative too so well done!

Yes Galahad did possess such a shield and it can be used as a replica but because it didn't have an official name the spiritual link between the replica you hold and the somewhat vague rumor will be slightly weaker in comparison to replicas created from a solidified myth with a proper name to go with it.

Doesn't stop you from using it as a Spiritual Item though. I do like the fire resistance effect you gain from it which is pretty neat and the minor regenerative magic you are bestowed with. It does feel like you're leaning towards a tanky support character who can also save allies with pocket heals.

The upkeep of using the item seems to be a continuous practice of Galahad's Chivalry. A little unusual for a Western Magic since the closest example I can think of is the Amakusa Church and the subtle magical rituals they've successfully integrated into their daily life to the point not even a experienced magician wouldn't notice it's a ritual. But this is fine, I think it's very creative and it does fit into the magical universe quite nicely.

You may want to give an example of what these Chivalrous Deeds equate to though. So that you have a clear reminder how to act around others when you rp with either npcs or fellow rpers.

Other than that minor work that can be added in, brilliant.

As for the healing effects. I think it should be a double edged sword. What you're essentially doing while healing is to regenerate others at the cost of your own stamina and spirit. The more extensive use will wear you out quickly. Having said this I am willing to permit you to heal mortal wounds since I think the cost of using the ability balance it out quite nicely. You can restore damaged tissues and stop bleeding. But you can't re-attach someone's arm after it's been chopped off, nor can you save someone after they died. Since the legend never mentioned Galahad using the ability on himself, there is room to question whether it's useable on the caster or not. I'm willing to go with yes you can heal yourself as well, however it will be a minor passive ability and you have little to no control over it.

Hmm think of it as a passive effect for being the wearer of the shield. Like in a MMO a tanky class character possessing passive heal abilities which automatically heals them 5% of their full health every 10 minutes. This passive effect is shut down the moment you redirect the healing abilities on someone else.

Everything should be completed now from the Chivalry deeds up to shield's descriptive abilities.

Welcome aboard, it's not every day we get a Knight of England and you joined at a very good time. Alex has come a long way and he now looks amazingly polished for a work of fiction. Great job and hope to have you join us in the Necessarius Entrance Exam as the Knight of England representative.

Excellent! I will indeed join you all in the Entrance Exam as a representative of the Knights. Just let me know when I have the ability to begin posting

Please forgive the long delay. While Index was busy I also fell into an ocean of overly heavy issues not only consisting out of a number of evals but RL stuff as well. Not to forget my PC ban. But let’s get stared now:

Due to this profile being put through another stage of evaluation, I hereby revoke its approval.


Power
You made it quite obvious that his physical capabilities were toned down quite a lot. Unexpectedly, though, this isn’t sufficient. From what I read in the profile he was capable of defeating Victoria Lionheart, one of the strongest knights of England, just by pure skill in using a sword and some motivational boost.
That’s quite a number if you ask me, even if it was only a once in a lifetime experience. As someone with inferior physical capabilities defeating one of the most formidable warriors on a fair battlefield he has to be some kind of super sword saint prodigy…or at least one of the greatest sword masters in all of the UK. Unfortunately this still doesn’t remove the concern about him leaving his role of a supporting knight we already had.

Especially if we also add in his tactical prowess and ability to read humans.

In the end I would say that the motivational boost he’d gain from fighting on honourable grounds would grant him a lot more focus and dedication, which on the other hand would allow him to rival the average knight, he’d usually be inferior to. Fighting someone who is way beyond his own level, though, would still become a struggle that’d be hard for him to overcome, if he’d manage at all. He’s not supposed to be a fighting god after all.


Putting some focus on the tactics, I do wonder how good he is at that. Is he a master tactician, pretty good or above average? How well would he be able to read the opponent’s future actions?
Not to forget that I don’t really fancy a character that can see through any form of lie, untruth or attempt at covering up a secret. To me that sounds a lot like he could read anyone he’s facing like an open book. Not only seeking lies but also perfectly predicting other people’s next movements.


History
I already mentioned her in this eval, so I will continue doing so. Victoria being one of the strongest knights in the UK is a red flag. We don’t usually approve of OCs or NPCs as anything that could be listed among the best or the strongest of anything and we won’t do it here. We might do so with villains for main Arcs of maybe SSs, but that’s a wholly different story.

Giving her even more attention I also require to know about your future plans for her. Will she become a constant presence on the forum?


Edit: I would also fancy it if you put the testpost in a more obvious place.

Don't worry about the delay, anyway the edits have been done and hopefully more clear on a few points. Like how he defeated Victoria and her strength in comparison. That is covered in the history part, while in other abilities I added a bit about his mind. The drawbacks of it also and I've already PMed you on Chatango about my plans for Victoria.

I will also remark on my plans here for Alexander.

Since this is a version with his family alive, he hasn't been tested properly since he has always had his family to rely on. Sure we have Index's RP and his part in that, but we don't know exactly what will happen. I think Alexander's tactical prowness and ability as a leader will be a mess at the start. Hes untested so its fairly unknown. I wouldn't call him a master yet since again he hasn't been properly tested and I don't intend for him to be a master. I want him to grow into that reputation rather then right away. If you remember what I said about Victoria his story should be about what it means to be a Leader and the risks that comes with it depending on his decisions.

I can't say much else since that direction solely depends on the Grail's outcome specially when the Beathens get involved. But Alexander at this moment of time is a text book tactical who I hope will grow into a more powerful tactician and Leader. But of course there will be massive pitfalls in the way as he learns a decision of a leader effects more then his own life.

While this means you’re allowed to continue your paused threads, I am also required to warn you that we’ll monitor your future actions in regards of the tactician and people reading aspect, as well as the growth of political influence. Currently Alex is the only knight character on the forum, making it necessary to prevent him from becoming the sole focus point of that whole side, which is a thing that could happen at times.

Additionally I would like you, whenever he is accompanied by other knights, to always state their number the moment they first appear and to notify the staff about their presence.