[Esper] Cartin Omamori

FULL NAME:  Cartin Omamori
OTHER ALIAS: N/a
CURRENT AGE: 16
GENDER: Male
OCCUPATION: Student
SCHOOL: Zassou Academy
FACTION: N/A



APPEARANCE: Omamori has Blond hair, pale skin, and blue eyes. These 3 factors alone make him stand out so to contribute  to that and make himself stand out even more he likes to wear bright vibrant colored shirts as well as dark colored jeans.
HEIGHT: 168 cm/ 5'6"
WEIGHT:  59 kg/ 130 Lbs
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: As mentioned before, Omamori stands out from everyone else with bright clothes, blond hair, light skin, and blue eyes.



PERSONALITY:
Calm
Omamori likes to stay calm whenever possible. He often likes to get a general overview of what will happen the next day to plan in advance, although he typically doesn't follow those plans.
Kind  
Omamori tries to be as kind as possible to as many people as he can. The only exception to this is if it is someone who he knows has done harm in any way to anyone else. Being so kind is what has allowed him to make so many friends so quickly
Determined
Omamori can be extremely determined at times, which can be both a good thing and a bad thing. He almost always finishes every goal set in front of him and when he has a plan he often sticks with it all the way through, no matter if turns good or bad, he would often refuse to change it.
Doesn't like taking orders
Although Omamori follows most rules and does what he's told most of the time, when he is told how to go about something the odds are he will just ignore that part of the request and just do it how he pleases.
Intelligent
Omamori is not only good in school getting A's with out much effort, but is also very crafty in the way he goes about things, as well is skillful negotiator

LIKES:
Computers, Video Games, Being with friends
DISLIKES:
Third wheeling, taking orders
STRENGTHS:
Good under pressure, independent, good leader,  Is determined towards his goals,
WEAKNESSES:
Over trusting, doesn't follow orders well, can be to determined at times, Extremely low endurance(can't sustain heavy physical activity for more than a few minuets.



HISTORY:Both Omamori's parents are foreigners. His mother used to work as a teacher in academy city, while his father's whereabouts are unknown. When he was about 6 his mother died in a car accident on the way to work leaving her child as whats known as a child error.

He was then sent across the city to a child error facility where he spent a good portion of his life. He made many friends, as well as many rivals. His appearance caused some people to look at him in wonder while others tormented him for looking like a foreigner, even though he actually was not one. At the Age of 13 he entered middle school with almost all of the same people as he'd known growing up.

That same year he was introduced to video games through a local arcade with some change he found in the road. In games, he was able to be himself, or whoever he wanted for that matter, and that made him happier than he has ever been before. It was from that day forwards that Omamori decided that he wanted to make games, to try and spread that happiness to others. The next year one of his very close school friends, much more intelligent than him, received a large grant for a smart glasses design, and gave them to Omamori, along with a few other friends, to test.

2 years later he said good bye to his friends and went back across the city again making fresh start, while being slightly, secretly disappointed, that it was practically the same thing all over again. Because of his high grades, he was basically able to chose where to go so he chose Zassou Academy, the game design school run by the American company Weed. Besides just wanting to make games to make people happy, He knows his mom used to work there and he is very curious to find out more about her.

RANK:N/a
LEVEL: 3
Military Oil:
Omamori's ability allows him to a few different things with oils. First of all he can break them down and reassemble them into different oils, such as petroleum, napalm, kerosene, or even oil the pigments used for painting. Another feature of Military Oil is that oils can also be moved around by it, whether its beneath him, in front of him or at his enemy, although to move the oils, they must within range of him, he can't make it come out of no where and drown an opponent by surprise, for example.  

Omamori is able to uses this in many ways such as blinding an enemy by spraying it in their eyes, or making a thin wall of it to hide his location. Omamori is able to move it around, however he can not form any kind of defined shape. For example, he can move a blob in front of himself, and make it long and thin then ignite it to function as a weapon, however he can not make a sword, or any thing such, only stretch out blobs. To draw the oils he must be within range of a "reasonable source" a reasonable source is an amount that is enough to be seen although it doesn't necessarily have to be in his sight, he only has to know its there. Oil on skin, for example is not a "reasonable source", while the petrol in a gas tank, is a "reasonable source".

The range of his ability is 8 meters, for both controlling and changing oils. As for controlling, Omamori is only able to control 3 blobs of oil at once, and all the oil he's controlling cannot add up to more than 12 liters.

OTHER ABILITIES:
Analytical Glasses
Although he doesn't wear them all the time, his glasses function as a small computer, as well as a phone. When folded up they can act like a normal hand held phone that can be held up to his ear. They are able to access the internet, make calls, send messages, and take pictures.
Lighter and tissues
One of the most well known things about oils is their flammability. In order to use that feature, Omamori carries around a lighter and tissues. Although the lighter is obvious, the tissues are useful for lighting at a range, by lighting one that's crumpled up and throwing it at the oil spreading the fire.
Bottle of pen ink, and a pen
Omamori uses an old fashioned refillable, oil pen, instead of a regular one. Not only does he like to use the pen since he thinks its more comfortable, the overly large container of refill oil for it acts as a just in case  for his ability.
A liquid pack
Commonly used for hiking,Camel Back style packs are like average back packs, but with a 2 liter fluid pouch. Omamori does not however use it for hiking, but fills it with oil if he knows some heavy use of his ability is coming.



PLAYER'S NAME: Omamori
CHATANGO NAME: WCartin
RATING:M for mature
FACE CLAIM: Takumi Aldini from Shokugeki no Soma
OTHER CHARACTERS: N/a[/b]

Ready!? Set! GOO!

I actually asked Natsumi to do this eval, but I ended up doing it myself anyway~

1. Balancing
A very intelligent ace student, a trained Judgement member and an Esper assisted by technological means; that’s something. While it didn’t sound extreme in the first place, he still gives off the feel of someone that isn’t bad at anything, likewise someone that is too perfect to actually exist. To establish some sort of balance in his case, I’d suggest you to either reduce his intelligence to average or give him a physical weakness, like lack of strength, stamina or overall athleticism.

2. History
I see that he settled on entering Zassou Academy for once because he wants to bring happiness over the world and secondary because his mother once worked there. Interesting, but I somewhat feel a lack in there, something to further elaborate on if you asked me. When I read it I felt like asking about what video games are to him, how he got into contact with them and if he actually sees those as another important link towards his dead mother? Like all in all, the emotional aspect should require a little more work.
Actually some strong passion towards video games would be a way better reason to join Zassou than ace grades.

3. Ability
Overall not a bad idea, but too convenient and complicated for the usual Esper standards. Right now this is somewhat along the lines of a specialised form of Telekinesis allowing Cartin to control small particles to form anything out of those like from thin air and that’s where the issue lies. We don’t fancy stuff that’d allow the user to create things at any given moment, under any conditions and out of nowhere.

Therefore I’m asking you to change this ability into some other form of specialised Psychokinesis, something that would allow for him to control a certain kind of material (like gravel, paper or plastic bricks) he could shape nearly anything from. Of course he wouldn’t be able to produce the necessary material from thin air, but be required to have it around somewhere within his ability’s range to make use of it.
A good example of what that would look like on higher skill levels would be found in the Accelerator Manga. If you don’t mind spoilers then here is a link to the character in question.

1: To give him more of a disadvantage, I made it so he has very low endurance, and edited the test post accordingly
2: For the history, Its not like I meant he went there because he was so smart, i meant he could go anywhere he wanted because he was so smart. But as for why he wants to make games I added that, as well as where his glasses came from.
3: For his ability I made it based off carbon to be more balanced

3. Ability

Didn’t I already exclude the possibility of creating objects from thin air?

There is nearly no difference in the current version and the one from before. Basically both draw out omnipresent materials from the air in order to forge solid objects that could be used as weapons and the like. A convenient means that could be made use of in any situation.

But if it isn’t convenience, let’s look at it with logic. What this ability does at the current point is gather carbon molecules from the air, compress them heavily and somehow create shapes from it that are actually quite sturdy. I think people on the chat referred to Offence Armour when you talked to them and that’s a pretty fitting comparison. The basics are quite similar after all, with the only difference being that Offence Armour is not powerful enough to compress the Nitrogen into a state where there is created something along the lines of solid mass. It shields, but it isn’t a real shape or an object that can be held stable over longer periods of time.

Basically even if it shares that common trait with Offence Armour this is actually where another problem with the overall concept is born. Offence Armour is a Level 4 Ability, one of the more powerful ones that has been meddled with artificially to allow creation of such a phenomenon, which makes it hardly possible for normal Espers to develop a similar ability yet even something superior to that. Going by that logic it could be said that the ability you described could very well be ranked Level 5, as even those Espers haven’t shown such capabilities so far.

Long story short: I’m not going to allow an ability that crafts objects from particles or molecules. The medium your character has to make use of needs to be something the eye can see, in the direction of what I mentioned in my first post.


4. The Glasses

So basically they’re just there to help him measure things, correct? Going on from that the only thing they should be able to properly do is determine distances, angles and maybe give him assistance in his calculations etc. Any other functions beyond that?

3: I've made some revisions to my ability, and by that I mean I completely changed it to being the manipulation of metals through magnetic fields. I have updated the test post to fit.
4: As for his glasses, they're like a stand alone google glass, functioning as a phone and computer, as well as being able to measure/ display distances and angles through augmented reality. Not sure if I pointed it out before but in my last post I updated the characters history to show where they came from.

I guess this is better now, even though still a little farther away from what you want.

Basically his ability now is magnetism, right?

What exactly is the basis of this magnetism? Is he capable of creating his own magnetic field? Is his ability a specialised version of Electromaster that only allows him to create electromagnetic fields?

What is his range? The range stands for both drawing metals in and for keeping up the objects forged via magnetism, so it needs to be a little higher than what you mentioned in the current description.

What is his limit in weight, size or whatever? He can’t possible fling around tanks after all.

Please note that control of magnetism doesn’t mean he can manipulate the shape of metal objects to his wishes just like that; that’d be different ability along the lines of metal control. Therefore simply altering the structure, even of the objects he creates, in order to make them sharper or change their shape into something totally different wouldn’t be that easy, or impossible in some cases.

His ability would pretty much follow the lego principle. Every object crafted through it would be crafted from the bricks he picks up, in this case the various magnetic metal objects found in his surroundings. While he can build structures from those bricks he cannot change the brick’s shape in case he would be in need of a special one, just like a kid is unable to reshape an unnecessary lego brick to obtain the one they so urgently need to finish their castle. Unlike the kid he could violently bend the metal if he brought up sufficient force, though.
His crafting options would be heavily limited by what he has at his hands. There is no turning rubbish bin into a perfectly shaped dagger or short sword. Especially metal isn’t the kind of material to easily pull this stuff off with.


If I were to suggest another gimmick that’d ease obtaining the necessary bricks, I’d look for something like thin magnetic metal sheets that are easier to bend than thick iron (the easier to bend for human hands, the easier to shape with magnetism!).


Never forget that even if you settle on smaller sources, in the end the detailed work will always remain the more complicated one than the quick and rough one.

I think I got it this time. Ok, so I made some revisions to his power, stating how it works and its limits.
On top of that, after a suggestion, since I am still in the editing process I added a bike to his equipment/ other abilities section. After you read it I have these two pictures here explaining how it works a little and I wasn't sure if I should put them in the post or not. https://i.servimg.com/u/f18/19/28/54/26/gear11.png
https://i.servimg.com/u/f18/19/28/54/26/bike10.jpg (And yes I intended them to be links)

Hey there. I'm stepping in for a bit since I see this has been going in circles.

I've taken a look at the ability and the first thing that strikes me is regarding the spikes and pillars he can create. You can't bend objects so that they'll have more mass than their original form; no matter how much you manipulate the iron the original mass will stay unchanged

Going by this, even if he managed to create his pillars and spikes, they would break easily with possibly even the flick of a finger due to the fact that he cannot change the mass no matter what he does with his ability, and in which case to me it sounds more useless than anything.

After that is his magnetism. In this universe, magnetism can be considered a sub-use of Electromastery, not of iron manipulation. I'm going to have to request of you to either settle on manipulation of magnetism or manipulation of iron because both are impossible without making him a dual-skill, simple iron manipulation would never allow him to be able to move his creations using his ability.

Simply put: This type of iron manipulation can only reshape. That's all, how he moves and throws his creation is entirely up to him afterwards since his ability can't help him there.

Then, his “motorcycle”. I know Kazuko is the one to have recommended it, but how does he plan on using a motorcycle that can't possibly have brakes due to the limitations that Omamori has regarding creation of movable parts? Does he plan on using it and finish up as a pool of blood on concrete from colliding with a car? And how is he going to get the bike to steer correctly, is he just gonna ride in a straight line and jump off? Sounds more like a pain to me than anything else.

---

I'll be honest I have a lot of other issues with this ability as well, and going by the evaluation so far, I'm going to have to request of you to change the ability to another concept. So far, none of the attempts at material manipulation I've seen with this profile have been working out in your favour so it'd be much better if you tried something else.

As for the pillars and spikes, that seems to be something I may have overlooked when changing from the original ability, I change it now. On that note to clarify his ability, it is the creation of magnetic fields which he uses to bend and move metals. As for his bike, you are wrong about who recommended it. As for braking, due to the shape of the gears and polarity of the field they are turned in a certain direction, making the bike move, so simply reversing the fields polarity will create a force in the opposite direction, slowing down and eventually stopping the wheels. Now, as for turning, it may be lacking a proper engine but it is still a bike, and like a normal bike you would turn with the handle bars.

Still sounds more dangerous than actually owning a proper motorcycle. Would he even be allowed to use it, since I reckon you need a permit to prove you know traffic laws, not to actually own a vehicle?

In any cases, there'll be no need to edit the ability, I've asked for an outright ability change as I've previously said this is going nowhere. This profile will not be applicable for evaluation until the ability has been fully changed.

I've already change it form a general manipulation, its now just that he can create strong magnetic fields, and he just uses it to bend and pull magnetic metals. Were it manipulation, he would be able to create what ever shape he wishes, or that he can draw in a bunch of iron into one form. Just bending and moving. I will change the name since now its a little misleading.

Cartin, stop trying to dodge the issue. You've been told repeatedly that the type of manipulation you aim for isn't possible within this universe for various reasons, both in this eval and as I've noticed in the chatbox, but all I see here are edits that hardly fix anything. A good example would be magnetism point that had already been made in Iva's previous message but was ignored.

I'm well-aware that the ability has been changed from the general manipulation you had, but I'm requesting a concept change because this manipulation ability is /not/ going to work out and at this rate all we're doing is exhausting ourselves.

This is my last warning. The staff agrees that the ability won't work out, and if you continue being stubborn about this I'm going to outright reject the profile unless you finally concede to changing the ability.

OK! This ability was fished right out of the To aru universe. I don't believe this counts as manipulation, if it does, I'm sorry and didn't intend it to be. As for his motorcycle, which I know is gonna come into question, If Konori Mii has a Motorcycle at 16 as well.

Ability

Basically all his ability is about is oil control, thus enabling him to manipulate oil by moving it or to break apart the molecules to forge different types of oils. That however is all there is to it. Igniting the oils he is using, pretty much requires sufficient heat or fire, which both are in the domain of Pyrokinesis a wholly different ability than what Military Oil is. Therefore you’ll have to remove the ignition skill.
Right now the only logical way for him to ignite any form of oil would be the old way of simply using a lighter or a match etc. What's written on the wiki most likely refers to ignition via outside sources or some high level application.

Next I will set the numbers for the possibilities he will be given, starting with his maximum range. Said range covers all forms of oil control, be it moving those, breaking the molecules apart or anything else he can do with the oils present. The range will be somewhere in between 7 and 9m; decide the exact value yourself.
Similar to Wannai Kinuho’s Hydro Hand he will be allowed to split his focus to manipulate more than just one collected mass of oil. At his current level Omamori will be allowed to control 3 clumps of oil at the same time and a total of 13,71 liters.

You should also remove stunts like launching himself by igniting oil close to him from your mind- and skill-set. While he is an Esper he is still a human being that doesn’t have any protection from heat or fire, meaning he would burn himself rather easily if he tried to pull such stuff off.


Other Stuff

Japan’s legal age for driving is 21 years, making it impossible for him to have a license at this point or to even buy a motorcycle as nobody would sell him one. Additionally to that Academy City of all places should have pretty tough regulations preventing any of the youths to illegally drive around. Yes, we have seen Konori doing so in the anime, but nobody ever questioned if she were to get in trouble with the law.

While the idea of selling oils is a lucrative one, it is illegal. Academy City strictly bans their students from using their Esper Abilities outside the school grounds except for self-defence reasons.
Abusing your ability to change a cheap substance into a more expensive one without much effort is most definitely an act that’d go against the basic principles of fair trade and Academy City law. Breaking those would most definitely result in the culprit being put under surveillance or into a Reformatory.
Or even worse, one could get in trouble with certain parts of the city’s underworld.

Sorry if a lot of the stuff seemed stupid, specifically the selling of oil, motorcycle, ignition, and stunts. After I reread it I am wondering what crossed my mind writing it up. However, I have made all the changes you gave, removing those 4 as well as adding a fixed range of 8m, putting in the 3 clumps of oil, and finally adding the limit of 12 liters. As for that last part, thank you for the suggested numbers.
As always I updated the test post to match.

And with this we reached the finish line.


Just don’t forget that changing one oil into another will need some time. Especially with Napalm it shouldn’t happen instantly.